1 step closer 2

1 step closer 2 a goal

2012-01-26T22:40:00.002-06:00

I was inspired to set a goal for this month regarding walking. My real motive is to not be left in the dust this summer on vacation.... Man, two years ago a trail at Chimney Rock North Carolina, I struggled just to walk down a one mile trail to see some waterfalls.

This year we're headed to Washington DC, and we all know that will involve wearing the tread off my tennis shoes.

So we put 1 mile on the tread tonight and chatted along the way, getting me only 2.5 miles away from my goal of 15 miles this month. 1 step closer 2 walking the mall in DC.

1 step closer 2 warmth

2012-01-25T15:47:00.002-06:00

It was cold in my office today. Quite chilly, even with a long sleeve shirt and a sweater. So I took a walk.

I haven't walked downtown for a long time. and I chose a destination that I thought might take me half an hour and headed out. I hit every light green, and when I got to the destination, decided to add another block to the walk.

In the end I had walked 1.1 miles in half an hour, and I was a smidgen warmer in my office for another hour or so. If you're cold this winter, join me in a walk, you'll be 1 step closer 2 warmth.

1 step closer 2 memories

2012-01-23T13:27:00.002-06:00

It's so much more common to let a mind wander through memories when walking alone, than when walking with someone else. Don't get me wrong, I love walking with my husband, but today I drove to the nearby nature center and took the longest loop possible.

Along the way I saw a thorny tree that reminded me of when I was a girl riding our horse in a grove of trees. I lost control of DJ and a thorny tree caught my arm and made it one memorable ride!

I stopped and looked over the pond where we've taken the kids for years along with stale bread to feed the fish and turtles.

I smiled to remember walking there with friends on warm summer nights as the sun set.

I prayed for the Stephen Minister with whom I work, I cried over friends long lost to moves or death. It was all good, especially since I made it 1.7 miles, and now am less than 5 miles away from my 15 mile goal for the week. Some memories hurt, some bring joy, but being 1 step closer 2 them is a good thing in the end.

1 step closer 2 my passions

2012-01-22T15:07:00.002-06:00

I was invited to speak to an adult Sunday school class this morning. The group is living in their golden years and love being together and caring for each other, as well as serving God.

I've had over 4 months to prepare this lesson, but left it til this morning at about 8:30 to write an outline. I knew I'd use Stephen Ministry as the basis of the presentation and I decided to teach them from the lesson on Spiritual Care that I taught to the Stephen Minister's continuing education this past week. But when I got there, and felt out the crowd, I discovered they knew very little about Stephen Ministry to begin with.

So I began at the beginning and just kept going with examples, answering questions as we went. It just seemed to flow. The right words and the right time. Giving praise to God for the servants, His timing and the program. Affirming how God is glorified by the ministry and how both the care receivers and the Stephen Ministers are changed for the better.

It just worked, and I was affirmed several times for the presentation. It was all extemporaneous, it was all God, and it worked because I'm passionate about the topic. Now if I could only get passionate about walking.... Today I got 1.2 miles underfoot with my husband and 1 step closer 2 knowing what really makes me smile.

1 step closer 2 photos

2012-01-21T16:47:00.004-06:00

It's cookie time! My daughter has been in a girl scout troop since second grade, she missed being a cute little daisy and jumped right into brownies with other girls at her school.

Last night was the cookie kick off. It's an event where girls from all over the area gather to learn about the cookies, play games, practice selling techniques and in general get stoked about selling thin mints, thanks a lots and shortbreads. Her troop leader is also a Zumba teacher http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zumba and the Zumba rep for our girl scout district. She organized three other instructors and herself as the opening act on stage at the Cookie Kick Off last night, then recruited her girls to be the on stage class. They spent time in her driveway last week learning one of the basic dances.

Those girls rocked the stage last night. They weren't perfect, but they had fun, kept up and did their best. I was the photographer mom, and so today we stepped out to the local Walgreen's to put the photos from my card to a disc for the troop leader. We got 1 mile underfoot and were 1 step closer 2 sharing photos from a cool event.

1 step closer 2 sitting

2012-01-19T21:33:00.002-06:00

Since I'm working fewer hours, I'm intentionally trying to work fewer days. The goal, work two days a week. The reality: I had to go in for 30 minutes this morning, and I'm teaching a class on Sunday morning... But since I was just a 'ghost' at work, I was really at home, and had no excuse to not walk.

I put on my hat, gloves and scarf and pushed on one driveway further, making my walk total 1.5 miles! The funniest part of the walk, was over halfway home when I realized that I had a spare pair of gloves stuffed in my hat on top of my head! No wonder it was so warm, and felt so awkward for the first .9 miles!

What I learned about myself on the walk, is that when I'm walking, my mind is going. If I'm not talking to my walking partner, I'm singing a song in my head, or practicing an argument with no one in particular. While my body is active, my mind and spirit must also be so. So today, a little after the turn around, I just sat. The sun on my back, a cold breeze in my face, cars rushing by just past the sidewalk. I sat in the grass and closed my eyes and just was. No agenda, no songs, no prayers, no pep talks, just me and the clear blue sky. It was good for my soul.

So from now on, when I take a solo jaunt, I'll add a little down time, just me and nature and God, and while I'll walk on either side of the sitting, I'll still be 1 step closer 2 sitting.

1 step closer 2 a cold front

2012-01-16T16:22:00.002-06:00

It was a balmy 50 degrees when we got home from shopping today. Took three kids shopping for shoes, glasses, dress pants, etc.... (pure torture, although I'm sure the kids thought we were torturing them, instead of vise versa.)

After lunch and some chores around the house, I took an Advil and laid down for a nap. No sleep thanks to a germaphobic child, just imagine a mouthy kid yelling, "Dad will you make sure Mom washes her hands!" So if you can't sleep and you have a head ache, both one in your head, and one at the bedroom door. You go on a walk.

DH and I went on the same route we've been taking, just one block further made it 1.6 miles underfoot. An even 5 miles so far this month, with 10 to go. The problem was that while I was laying down resting, the cold front moved in. I had just taken a jacket and a scarf, just in case. Without the scarf I would have turned around less than half way. As it is my ears are still cold as are my thighs and upper arms, but I'm still glad we went. It was 1 step closer 2 walking despite the cold!

1 Step Closer 2 Venting

2012-01-13T22:04:00.003-06:00

Where have I been? I've not been ignoring my goal, I've been sick. To quote Forrest Gump, "That's all I'm gonna say about that."

Today is the beginning of a three day weekend, one both I and my walking partner probably need. The minute he walked in the door he asked, "Do you want to go on a walk?"

That was the perfect balm to the guilty feeling I had about taking a nap this afternoon instead of walking by myself, so I laced up the New Balance walking shoes and put on two light jackets a scarf and gloves. It was chilly, but not windy so for a Kansas January day we saw at least 5 other walkers/joggers on our 1.2 mile walk.

He had stories from work that we begging to be shared, and I had chuckles from the kids that lifted his spirits. It was good to share stories of frustration (both of us), anger (whoa boy) and maturing kids. It lightened our spirits, got me to 3.7 of my 15 mile goal this month. It also affirmed that walking and talking can bring a couple just 1 Step Closer.

1 Step Closer 2 Feelings

2012-01-05T16:15:00.002-06:00

Two nights ago I was at a gathering of couples we participated in an exercise of understanding ourselves a bit better. We were asked to consider how we as individuals address a problem or issue. In every situation a person will THINK, ACT and FEEL, but not everyone does these three things in the same order.

My husband the engineer said to me, "I THINK, THINK, THINK, then I FEEL and then I ACT." The answer for myself, was "I FEEL, THINK, then ACT." And my DH agreed with this self analysis. Yesterday it occurred to me that when I don't know what I feel, or don't acknowledge my feelings I become paralyzed, because I don't allow myself to then make a plan and act on it.

Today as I walked 1.1 miles with the dog, I began to consider that my inactivity when it comes to exercise and loosing weight might just be that I don't want to deal with the feelings that will motivate me to make a plan then act on it. In this case I was motivated to set a goal by the emotions of admiration and inspiration that came from reading a friend's blog. She was setting goals for herself, and my emotions set this goal of 15 miles in the month of January in motion. It might be a better motivation than shame, self pity or fear.

So today the dog and I were 1.1 miles closer to the goal and 1 step closer 2 understanding my motivation.

1 step closer 2 10%

2012-01-03T21:46:00.002-06:00

So I set a goal of 15 miles in January 2012. The thing is we are taking a vacation this summer that might involve 15 miles in one day or one afternoon depending on the situation, so this is a good start towards increasing endurance so I'm not the one left in the dust of a Smithsonian.

We put 1.4 miles underfoot, and when you look at pure numbers, that's almost 10% of my goal for the month. I can do this, with a little prodding from family and friends and the accountability of the blog, I only need to do this 9 more times this month to make the goal.

My husband asked what I'd do if I make my goal early and I joked that I'd get a hot fudge sundae.... Well maybe a hot fudge flavored pudding cup! I just know that being 1 step closer 2 the goal makes me feel better than starting from scratch.

1 step closer 2 a new year

2011-12-31T23:24:00.002-06:00

I've been inspired. My sister's sister-in-law blogs about life at http://blankiesandbooboos.com/, and she recently blogged about her goals/resolutions for 2011 and how those that she actually wrote out action plans for worked out better than those that were this vague big wish.

So I've set my first goal for 2012: To walk 15 miles in the month of January. Not a big deal for lots of people, but for me that will be about 15 days of actually tying my tennis shoes and stepping out. It will be more than I walked in December (about 10 miles) and a LOT more than in November (maybe 3)..... So today before we headed to a family gathering that involved home made donuts, my DH and I put 1.1 miles underfoot, we were 1 step closer 2 2012!

1 step closer 2 another job

2011-12-27T16:55:00.002-06:00

I won't say new job, because I plan on keeping the old one, but since the hours for my current job have been downsized, I need something to do with a little extra time, and I could use a little cash to replace the lost income.

I've got a good lead on a part time job, that would allow me to have the summer off with the kids! The supervisor for the position just needs to know that there is a good willing applicant out there. I filled out the application last week and today, walked half a mile to deliver it to someone who can get it into the right hands, then half a mile home.

Walking that 1.1 miles got me 1 step closer 2 additional employment that just might fill my days, and give me some new skills and challenges. Remember: He makes all things new! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nJ4yNYY1hHM&feature=fvsr

1 step closer 2 a holy night

2011-12-26T17:08:00.002-06:00

It was Christmas day, and I stepped out on a still quiet night for a 1.1 mile walk in my hometown.

Along the way I passed the junior college where my parents met over 40 years ago. I shed tears as I passed the warehouse where my dad worked nights, while he farmed days trying to make ends meet in the early 80's. It was quite along highway 81, the only traffic pulling in and out of the gas station. For once I wished that there weren't so many of those darn lighted snowflakes attached to every other light pole... the light from those snowflakes polluted the vision I sought in the clear starry Kansas night.

It was good to take a few minutes for myself in the midst of the wrapping paper, goodies, carols, and noisy toys (yes, I'm actually the mom who gave her son a set of bongos... what was I thinking?) Thanks to the husband who took the kids to the pool, so I could be 1 step closer 2 a quiet moment, a stretch of my legs and a thankful heart for this town, my family and most of all my Savior, Christ Jesus. Merry Christmas!

1 step closer 2 a challenge

2011-12-21T17:36:00.002-06:00

My handsome husband suggested a walk the one time we talked on the phone today. "How bout we go for a walk when I get home?"

I asked him to help me get moving and he's helping me out with a simple, non judgmental reminder. I love walking with him, and I know he makes a sacrifice of speed when he takes a jaunt with me.

So it was only .75 miles today, but a little up hill, about as uphill as you can get in East Wichita so I got moved my feet, we made a discipline plan for one of the children and I was 1 step closer 2 being challenged to get out and get moving my my husband... Good times!

1 step closer 2 newness

2011-12-18T21:33:00.005-06:00

We took the same walk as yesterday, but pushed it a few blocks, making the 'lollipop' end of the walk a little bigger. That is to say, walk straight a ways, make a loop then come back from the same point where you started the loop. We got in 1.5 miles.

I say we, as once again it was with my handsome husband and while a little chilly and breezy it was a good stretch of the legs.

Newness is a state of being that is at the forefront of my mind: thanks to the song "Beautiful Things" by Gunter, and sung at the contemporary worship service the week before I learned that my job has been downsized from 20 to 10 hours a week.

I sang that song over and over for a week. The carpool kids gave me crazy looks, my kids got tired of hearing it. But it was a lifeline for hope and peace for me about who God is and where he fits in my life. Today while I would have rather stayed home in bed, I felt compelled to attend worship. As if I had no choice, even though my body screamed for more sleep. Again that song was part of the set, and I had to go pick up napkins, knowing I would cry both from sorrow and joy. What a blessing:

You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of us.
You make me new.
You are making me new.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LxltWrH8S0.

It occurs to me that "God making me new" is about a lot more than him giving me peace and joy in the midst of transition. At it's core it's about him forgiving my sins, but it may also be about me thinking and doing 'new' when it comes to my physical being. Maybe his newness is why I've walked two days in a row. Maybe my new mantra is "You are making me new" when I walk 1 step closer 2 newness.

1 step closer 2 energy

2011-12-17T20:06:00.002-06:00

He came home from school tired on Wednesday.
He took a two hour nap, then slept all night.
He woke with a 103 degree temp on Thursday and slept all day.
Still high temperatures on Friday, and a doctor's appointment confirmed strep throat. Antibiotics, blue Gatorade chunky 'you can imagine' and sucking ice chips, followed by a good nights sleep, all made the kid feel better today.

But alas, we must still stay home because he needed to be on antibiotics for 24 hours before exposing the world to his germs.

I was tired of being stuck at home.
I need fresh air.
I need to move.

1.2 miles later and I could smile more, breathe better and got some sunshine on my skin to make vitamin D. Thank you dear husband for walking that new route with me while the kids vegged, I'm now 1 step closer 2 more energy!

One Step Closer To Miracles

2011-11-15T22:26:00.002-06:00

On our walk today (1.12 miles) I got to share with my companions two real life stories that took place this morning within 20 minutes of each other.

Scenario #1 - My phone rings at work. A nice lady says, "I was a guest at the presentation you made last week about your work, and you shared one woman's' name as an example" Yes I probably shouldn't have mentioned her by name. "I'm so glad you did", says my caller, "You see, she's my sister in law, and we historically have been in touch every week, but since she suddenly moved out of town I don't know how to contact her. Can you help me out?" God opens doors and invites us through, If her neighbor hadn't invited her, if she had changed her mind about coming (She admits she nearly did) and if I hadn't given her sister in law as an example by name, she'd still be longing to get in touch with someone who seemed beyond her reach!

Scenario #2 - Another nice lady walks into my office, "Two things:" she says. "first of all, how do I get my prescriptions changed from one pharmacy to another?" I share what little knowledge I have on that topic. "Now second thing. Do we have a knee walker in the Med Share closet?" No, I've has several people ask about one, but we don't. "Well my daughter has been using one after her foot surgery, and they are so handy and helpful to her, that I'd like to donate one." We agree that I'll do a little research, and 20 minutes later I've got an amazing deal with my favorite medical supply house, saving at least $120 off a competitor's price, she's written a check, the PO is approved, and I'm on my way to prepay the order. I call "Sarah", who has phoned me just in the past week about a knee walker, and tell her, I'll have one in stock before your surgery in December. "Really? I was just talking to God about it last night, how I've figured out how to get in and out of the house, if only I had a knee walker!"

I see God's hand in both these situations. The donor in scenario #2 had no idea that "Sarah" was in need, she just wanted to give and she gave with a glad heart. The neighbor in scenario #1 had no idea that I would speak about her guest's sister-in-law, she just invited, arranged and drove. When we just 'step out' in service to others, then we find our our miracle stories to share.

1 step closer 2 being a nun?

2011-09-05T21:17:00.002-05:00

I've always been in awe of the monastic life. I'm sure it's not for me exactly... Number one I'm a died in the wool protestant and number two I'm happily married. But reading this article got me to thinking... http://www.saradavidson.com/articleA2.html what about the monastic life appeals to me?

I mentioned it to my husband last night and he didn't have me committed, but he did think the questions I posed were odd. So this evening I told him, I'm going to go for a walk for an hour and I'll call you to pick me up when I'm done. Again he gave me an odd look, but agreed to come fetch me.

As I put 2.2 miles under foot, walking due east the whole time, I thought about this yearning.
Monastic life if simple.
Monastic life is ordered.
Monastic life is centered on service to God.
Monastic life is centered on worship of God.
Monastic life is celibate and it's about doing the best one can every time in an attitude of obedience.

I can claim only one of these traits as something I routinely practice, and that's service to God. That's the definition of my two jobs, Parish Nurse and Motherhood.

So the question is, "How do I bring the other parts (Except celibacy - I've made a holy vow on that one to not be celibate.) of this thing that I think I crave into my life?"

*sigh* I think it's possible to take steps that direction, but it might take a lot more of my stepping out on walks like this one to help me figure it out.

So I'm not going to ever become a nun, but tonight I was 1 step closer 2 understanding what I crave.

1 step closer 2 a rebound

2011-09-02T09:09:00.002-05:00

I'm at it again... .8 miles today, on tuesday I walked at least 8 laps at the Y, it could have been a lot more, but I have such a hard time keeping track.

Any suggestions for keeping track of the number of laps you've walked?

1 step closer 2 friends

2011-04-23T08:57:00.003-05:00

Thank you friend, for inviting me to Girls Night Out!

It was fun last night, an new adventure to be sure. I was inspired... being the biggest girl around the table, and knowing that there were two of them that 'might' add together to equal my weight will do that.

Got 1.34 miles underfoot, gimpy hip and all. The doctor recently told a friend of mine that if she gets a knee replacement, she'll have to walk every day for the rest of her life, I might as well start now, might prevent it in the future...

1 step closer 2 a new ministry

2011-01-11T12:08:00.004-06:00

Who doesn't LOVE camp? Well I suppose it depends on the experience, but when we say 'camp' in our house, it most likely refers to Camp Horizon, a United Methodist camp and retreat center just to the south east of Arkansas City, Kansas. http://www.horizoncenter.org/

It's a place I started going as a high school student, met my husband, got engaged to my husband, was a camp sponsor there and now as an adult have been for retreats often. It's close, and almost feels like home. I even said on Facebook, that going there, I'm bombarded by memories.

Last weekend 15 other adults from First United Methodist Church in Wichita, my place of worship and work, and I were there for the final stages of the education needed to become Stephen Ministers. http://www.stephenministries.org/ This retreat included the teaching of 4-2.5 hour sessions: depression, suicide and how supervision works, all heavy, intense topics, but there was laughter and a good time non the less.

"Who wants to go on a walk in the morning?" I asked, expecting no answer, but I got one. Ed (not his real name) asked, "What time?" I think he thought I was bluffing. So we met up at 7 a.m. and headed for 'Inspiration Point'. We walked towards the reddening sky, it was gleeeoreous! Then we turned, walked back to where we started, and kept going in the opposite direction, this time seeing deer tracks, and Ed thought he saw a turkey! Quite possible in this neck of the woods.

All told we put 1 mile under foot without even realizing it as we took in the beauty of the morning God had created, and got ourselves ready for a long day of learning more about how to bring God to those who are in need of unique caring and love. Pray for us as this ministry launches this month.... One person in the van said, "even if I'm never assigned to care for someone, I've learned so much it was worth the 50 hour commitment.

Here First Church is, 1 step closer 2 a new ministry.

*wii fit plus note - I've only missed 2 days since starting! weight down a bit, long ways to go before BMI is even on the chart.... step by step.

1 step closer 2 loosening muscles

2011-01-03T21:57:00.003-06:00

No, not my muscles, my DH... yesterday he installed a new ceiling fan in our bedroom, and instead of asking for my assistance, he thought it would be a good project to teach OS about electricity...

I'm not sure how much OS learned, but I do know the minute I stepped in to first, tell OS how to be helpful, then to be the lovely assistant, things went more smoothly. But that didn't stop DH from straining a few muscles in his back. Nothing helps loosen those muscles better than a little walk, so tonight we put 3/4 mile underfoot, about as much as he could tolerate. He'll take two ibuprofen and sleep and hopefully wake in the morning under our new gorgeous ceiling fan feeling better.

So tonight I stepped out not for me, but to help DH get 1 step closer 2 feeling better.

ps. Just because I've not been blogging doesn't mean I've been inactive. DH got me a Wii balance board and Wii Fit Plus for Christmas! We all have our little Miis... even the dog! Who would have guessed that I'd have such fun skiing again, or that one minute of it would have me so out of breath. I've advanced a level on skiing and rhythmic Kung Fu, and currently hold the record ski jumping, although DH has kicked my butt at the Segway Tour. DH has been surprised how much fun the whole Hole family has had on it. OS has a goal to gain weight and I've got one to loose and so far over the past 7 days I've utilized the system six times and actually made progress on my goal! As long as I don't get mad at my Mii actually being shaped like me.

*note - the Mii is an avatar of a person, with this system it knows how tall I am and how much I weight so it is shaped like me too.... If you know my family, you know that the avatars must look a little odd all lined up in the Wii Fit Plaza.

1 step closer 2 transparency

2010-12-19T22:09:00.002-06:00

If you are one of the people that I asked about a woman with high blood sugar numbers, I'm sorry, it was me and not some 'hypothetical' or 'confidential' case.

I am beginning to hate my 'yearly' check up. But it does bring me face to face with reality. Cholesterol was high, no surprise there, but the stunner was my blood glucose:103 fasting... a

Anything over 100 raises an eyebrow, but my diabetes expert says that historically it wasn't called diabetes until 127. (of course that number has been lowered in recent years - as most diagnostic test like cholesterol and blood pressure have.)

There was another friend, parish nurse by profession, that said the latest news on the 'progressive medical' front was that a good fasting blood sugar shouldn't be over 90. So by that standard I should be quite worried.

The doctor didn't stop at the 103, she asked for an a1c to be run. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/a1c-test/MY00142/DSECTION=results My result was a 6.0 , the very high end of normal - not good in this case, also the very low end of pre-diabetes.

So today I got on my shoes and put 1.32 miles on their tread and reved up my metabolism a bit. I also am NOT going to eat a piece of that cheesecake that is calling my name from the fridge. The best advice I got from all those experts that I 'confidentially' surveyed as well as my doctor: increase physical activity. That will bring me closer to not being on the diabetes watch list, along with the all the other benefits of walking.

I'll let you know the test results when I go back in three months for the follow up test.

Join me in stepping out, cold ears and all to being 1 step closer 2 transparency.

1 step closer 2 magic

2010-12-16T22:11:00.002-06:00

We walked towards the holiday light display in the neighbor's yard... One might even call it an excessive light display, complete with radio station and a mailbox for making donations to help fight breast cancer. It's a display on regular routes of charter buses and limousines (we counted at least three tonight in a twenty minute period).

As we walked away, we saw Will and his dad. They too were taking an evening stroll, but Will's dad (I'm so bad with names...) greeted us then said, "we're taking a magic walk tonight, aren't we Will?". Then he not only indicated the lights at the end of the cul de sac, but pointed to the moon as well.

It was a bright night, complete with lights to celebrate the birth of Christ and a light in the sky created to light the night.

We were 1.11 miles of cold noses, and good conversation and hand holding, but we were also 1 step closer 2 a little magic thanks to Will's dad.

1 step closer 2 a friend

2010-12-16T12:26:00.002-06:00

Sometimes you just need a friend. Sometimes you look around and wonder where all your friends have gone: They've moved to Canada, Georgia or Nebraska. You've moved away as a child or adult. They've changed churches and you don't make the time to see them. They fly half way around the world to share the love of God with street kids in metropolitan Bolivia...

Then God sends you a new friend, and you're so thankful, that you have to be careful not to smother them with being over friendly... That's the type of worry wart I am about relationships. So often I don't call when I want to because I don't want to crowd them, don't want to push my problems on them, they might just go on their merry way without me. But today I actually overcame that fear and made a home invasion.

I had made a home bound visit in the neighborhood of my newest god gift of a friend. It wasn't in the plan, I just had a few minutes that I needed to answer some calls and do some paperwork, so I pulled into her neighborhood and parked by the community pool. "I've got time, I should go on a walk." So dodging goose doo doo, I started down the sidewalk and suddenly realized just where my feet were taking me, right to a friend, who could share a laugh and a concern and a hug and send me on my way feeling better.

Her son was unloading groceries, I took the box, walked into her kitchen and my presence actually made her scream... ooops. 12 minutes later I was walking back to the car, my spirits in a better place and half a mile on my tennis shoes. It's great when a walk takes you 1 step closer 2 a friend.

1 step closer 2 self control

2010-12-07T21:58:00.002-06:00

People with no self control loose things. They loose things that they personally misplace, and sometimes the government steps in and takes that which they love because their lack of self control places them in danger.

I'm thinking specifically of an episode of the television show "Hoarders". It was an episode that actually was partly filmed in my hometown of Wichita, Kansas. This particular woman's children were in the custody of her in-laws because her hoarding was so bad. She was the most motivated hoarder I'd seen after watching several episodes. If she could just get her house emptied out, see the floor, put toys in cubbies, make sure there weren't cockroaches in the house she would get her kids back.

16 PODS later... You know those dumpsters sized lockable movable containers, her house was tidy as a pin. Of course she never dealt with the underlying issues, but she was motivated to do something! She wanted her kids back.

The epiloge tag line at the end of the show, the "rest of the story" (my apologies to the late Paul Harvey) said that the court didn't think she had really changed, and wanted her to deal with the 16 PODS before she could reclaim her children.

It made me think of others who loose control; those who can't control their anger, or their drinking, they often loose their kids too. And by loose, I mean they are forcibly taken into the custody of the state - Thank God for foster care.

What if someday our society said, "Look at her, she can't control what she eats, she can't control her exercise life. Maybe she shouldn't be responsible for children either."?

Now being a rational woman I know that would never happen. or would it?

So I laced up the tennis shoes and took a measly .6 mile walk to being 1 step closer 2 self control. Of course then I lost it in a fit of anger tonight and ate half a cheese cake... Good Lord help me.

1 step closer 2 cooling off

2010-11-29T07:28:00.001-06:00

Sometimes you just gotta cool off, and that's all I'm gonna say about that.
.75 miles yesterday.

1 step closer 2 not snacking before bed

2010-11-10T22:45:00.002-06:00

We've heard it over and over.... if you want to loose or maintain weight avoid eating after 7 or so each evening. If you want to avoid gastric reflux in bed avoid eating after 7 or so each evening. If you want to avoid eating, going on a walk is a good remedy to those sneaky calories.

It seems if we sit and watch a movie after the kids go to bed, voices call from the kitchen...

"Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Ice Cream, here, you remember I'm still in the fridge, and if you don't finish me DD will tomorrow after school."

"I'm those sour cream Pringles, don't let me go stale."

"Want a little smooth salty taste, instead of crunchy? It's the Provolone Cheese in the meat drawer.... come and get me!"

It's so easy to answer the call, to sit cuddled next to DH watching old episodes of Monk or new episodes of Good Guys on hulu (Check it out if you haven't yet, it's a hoot, and Colin Hanks in Tom Hanks' adorable son.) and munch away.

But if I grab the lantern and put 1.36 miles on my tennis shoes, there's no calories involved. Tonight I was 1 step closer 2 not snacking before bed.

1 step closer 2 feeling the burn

2010-11-09T21:58:00.002-06:00

No the house did not burn down while DH and I took our walk tonight. (I've used that abbreviation for Darling Husband for over a year on my blog now, and just now realized that it might be confused for my own initials: now how dense is that?)

We tried a new route, I was curious to find the path taken by runners in the recent Wichita PrarieFire Marathon. It went right by our house, within 40 yards of our front door. We didn't know we had actually found it till we got home and I used mapmyrun.com to calculate the distance.

DH kept up the pace to a fast enough clop that my thighs felt a bit of a burn before we were half done.

I know 1.24 miles isn't all the far, but for me, walking two days in a row is a good sign... I'm gonna keep moving, getting 1 step closer 2 feeling a burn more often.

1 Step Closer 2 Gratitude

2010-11-08T09:11:00.003-06:00

"What your favorite time of year and why?" asked my YS this morning. He chose me as the topic of his research paper - imagine a research paper in 3rd grade! My answer was Thanksgiving. I said, "I love the way the world looks this time of year and spending time with family."

Thanks for the reminder son that I love this time of year, and should take the 4o minutes I use to watch one of 'my shows' on hulu.com and use it to spend some time in the outdoors that I really do enjoy.

Thanks for the reminder sis, to get back in step and keep blogging.

Thanks for the reminder friend, who challenged me last spring to be more pro-active in caring for myself and my body (It's the only model to be issued to me.)

Thanks for sharing your tears, my friend who let me know she wasn't OK, OK, OK. She really is tired of being in pain - pain that she attributes to not being more healthy in her youth, and maintaining a healthy size. She's asked me to please loose weight, because she doesn't want me to end up like her.

Thanks for the beautiful world, God. I stepped out for a mile today and enjoyed the clear sky, brisk breeze, golden cottonwoods and rusty maples. Thanks for friends and family who play games, break bread and share life together. Thanks for the opportunity to make changes, and to be 1 Step Closer 2 Gratitude this season, and always.

1 step closer 2 a balmy october?

2010-10-23T10:29:00.003-05:00

Balmy is what I'd call it: 71 degrees, light wind out of the south, 71 percent humidity, all I needed were palm trees and a beach... close your eyes, imagine sand on your feet, and smell the salt air. I could be on Mission Beach in San Diego. I could be on the Emerald Coast of Florida. I could be in Kansas on October 23?!

DH at work this morning, odd for a Saturday I know. Thankfully it doesn't happen very often. So I took a walk with myself and my God this morning.

I visited with a neighbor briefly about OS raking her yard and her recent birthday.

Then I just started on my walking prayer, I've blogged about it before: Take a person you love and care for and put their name in: It's a prayer that came to me at a desperate time when I was worried for two friends and all I could do was pray and continue to clean the house.

O Lord, I pray for ______.
Sweet Jesus, I lift up ____.
Holy Spirit, please fill ____.
Heal their heart.

I set it to a tune in my mind and it just augments the beat set by my feet on the sidewalk. Today I lifted up DH's family, then my family, then friends, co workers and some of the home bound that I visited this week. Before I knew it I was back home after putting .9 miles underfoot and feeling like it should be June.

It's not a lot of steps, it's not a lot of time, and it's been too long. But between a gentle reminder from my sister, a phone call from the insurance company's coaching nurse and looking at the link to my blog from my work website, I knew it was time. Time to get out and be 1 step closer 2 something, even if it's a balmy October day.

1 step closer 2 good news

2010-10-06T15:19:00.003-05:00

I had a doctor's appointment today. An appointment with my eye specialist. One of those appointments where you get your eyes dilated and the doc looks at the back of your eye, then you have to wait a few hours to be able to see clearly at all.

You see a few years ago, almost 6 years, this doctor diagnosed Pseudotumor Cerebri (false tumor of the brain). My symptoms were reduced vision when I would stand up. It was like being light headed when you get up suddenly, but my was blurred or tunnel vision when I got out of bed. It went away after 10-20 seconds, but it really scared me the night I got up and it was like seeing James at the top of the stairs through a paper towel tube.

I didn't have a tumor, but I did have a buildup of pressure of my spinal fluid that was pressing on my optic nerve. The eye specialist sent me to a neurologist, who did a spinal tap and measured the high pressure in the spinal fluid. The tap reduced the pressure and I was on diuretics for a year, then was released by the neurologist. Today, after at least 10 followup visits the specialist released me (That's the good news.) Everyone say "yeah!)

So today after the good news, but with blurry vision there was little I could do but take a nap.... or take a walk. I grabbed the dog and a leash and took the smoothest, least traffic heavy route in my neighborhood. Hamish and I got 1.7 miles underfoot we were 1 step closer 2 good news all the way.

1 step closer 2 money matters

2010-10-01T22:02:00.002-05:00

It seems to never fail... DH and I are on a walk sans children and talk turns to finances.

We put 1.36 miles underfoot and it became more apparent to me than ever that I don't have full grasp of numbers without seeing them... It really bothers me that I can't remember a phone number, even my sister and my mother in laws... they have a few numbers in common or transposed, and I have to think carefully before dialing. I keep ATM receipts because I can't wrap my mind around the balance and keep it there. Even tonight, I couldn't add 15 and 15 in a realistic way while walking...

The good news is that thanks to Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University we've been living on a budget for a year now. And when we combine these walks that turn to money that I can't remember with sitting down with the numbers in front of us to make a monthly budget - the numbers make sense, and we are 1 step closer 2 less fighting, more planning and living within our means.

1 step closer 2 a doe and two fawns

2010-09-26T20:03:00.002-05:00

What a beautiful day! I might have considered it a great injustice to the kids to let them stay inside on a beautiful fall day such as this one.

We (DH and myself) took naps and I had a crazy dream about falling asleep while driving - which was my actual fear yesterday. Then we made kids write thank you notes and practice music before setting off for the Great Plains Nature Center (GPNC).

It's a place where we've been taking walks for the past 8 years on and off. Only a few miles from our house the city, county and state have cooperated to replant this acreage back to native grasses and plants and let the habitat alone. Much to my DH's surprise I chose to sometimes herd, sometimes pull along the kids on the longest of the paths, the Cottonwood Trail.

We got 1.7 miles under our belts, fed the turtles, ducks and carp and while taking the bridge over a creek, DD and I saw a doe. "A deer she shouted and pointed, being sure to share such a sacred moment with her brothers." I encouraged her to lower her voice so as not to scare her off, and suddenly we saw two more shapes bounding through the grasses (4-5 feet high) towards the doe. DD later decided that the first was a girl and the second a boy, because he bounded higher than the first, and seemed like he was showing off.

The doe stood looking at us while waiting for the fawns, she took a step out onto the path and waited again while the fawns caught up, then ambled away through the brush.... DH and the boys did manage to join us and see these graceful creatures before they disappeared...

1 beautiful day.
3 kids who didn't want to go.
3 deer who shared a few moments with us.
10 shoes and socks on.
1.7 miles at GPNC and seeing the deer - priceless.

1 step closer 2 the I AM

2010-09-17T09:28:00.003-05:00

.8 miles with the dog today wasn't meditative until the very end...

I was fighting with the dog the whole way, he really has a mind of his own. This thought brought me to try to make an analogy in my mind about God being like the dog walker and me being like the dog..

I had the comparisons in my mind, picking up the poop (forgiveness), straining at the leash (fighting the Lord's leading), even how the dog doesn't strain at the leash when he get's tired(those with experience tend to be more open to God's guidance).

Then a more profound reality became clear... we humans are always personifying God. We in our need for understanding of the unseen, and unknown try to make God more like us. Instead of making ourselves more like God.

God is like a ____ (Fill in the blank). We make him like a tree, like an ocean, like saver of starfish, like a mirror, like a rock, like a GPS, like a mother hen.

But as the dog walking analogy progressed in my mind, I kept coming up with parts of the analogy that didn't work... Just like every other attempt to make God like us, or understandable to us. He's bigger than our thoughts. He's bigger than our feelings. He just is what He is.

Exodus 3:14 - God said to Moses, "I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: 'I AM has sent me to you.

Today I'm 1 step closer 2 understanding how much bigger and stronger and more powerful God is.

1 step closer 2 admiration

2010-09-16T21:46:00.003-05:00

She called it 'meditative walking' - that's what the yahoo link said. Music superstar, part of a duo that has spoken to my heart, Wynonna Judd was a guest on Oprah in recent days. She spoke of loosing 60 pounds by finding that walking helped on her journey out of a living hell.

I was excited! I get it! I can do it if I just step out. I didn't read the article in depth, I didn't see the actual interview, but I can imagine how it would have gone. I can hear her words of despair that turned to affirmation and encouragement.

I know the philosophy is right, get up and move and pounds will be shed. Speak up and talk to, even yell at God and your soul will be available for healing. I've seen my sisters loose weight with exercise, and admired every step they took - good job girls!

I should have read the whole thing, before I saw the comments left by yahoo readers.... It was like a stab in the gut. The anonymity of the Internet allows people to be more stupid, brash and negative about someone than they would be to their face, so such comments should be disregarded. I get that. But it hurts none the less...

I just wanted to delete every negative thought and just send Wynonna good thoughts of encouragement, a pat on the back, and a "Way to go Girlfriend!"

So here's 1 step closer 2 walking the walk and ignoring the negative talk. DH and I took steps to the tune of 1.36 miles tonight, beautiful moonlight, crickets chirping, small cool breezes and the best walking partner a girl could ask for.... Of course I'd never turn down a walk with Wynonna, just one. ;-)

1 step closer 2 debriefing

2010-09-14T22:41:00.002-05:00

I stepped out with my husband and got to share with him about the last few days. Days spent with others learning about leadership and peer consultation and dealing with anxiety.

We enjoyed the cooler weather and each other and got a mile underfoot.

Some of my take aways from both the Faith and Leadership conference and the consultation with Bill Selby:

We must be comfortable with pain if we want change...

Peer consultation isn't as painful as it seems.

God is so much more powerful than we give him credit.

You can run from a call to ministry, but you can't hide from it.

We are never as alone as we think we are.

Our own prejudices, fears and anxieties keep us from seeing the possibilities that God is holding in front of us. This weekend I was 1 step closer 2 loving, faithful and honest folk who shed a little more light on God's power, authority and mighty presence.

1 step closer 2 a surprise

2010-09-01T21:09:00.002-05:00

Blow me down! I couldn't beleive my eyes... I had to go back and actually do it againg to be sure what I saw was right!

Tonight hubby and I put .65 miles under our belts while the kids were busy elsewhere, talking about church and our committment to it and why we do what we do there. Confession time: I actually took the walk tonight so that I could blog... I made a committment to not blog unless I walked first and I just was amazed at the news the other day and wanted to share, so I took some steps first, so I could sit down and tell the story.

I only weigh myself at the Dr.'s office. We know for a fact that he sets his scales 4-5 lbs heavier than reality or other scales... Doc confessed this to my husband once and my sister confirms it, that being said, I only use his scales (1) so I'm not disappointed by the pre-set variance and (2) My numbers don't currently read on my scales at home (for shame, I know).

So I know that I haven't been on the scales since May, and I know that my number then was at an all time high and way too close for comfort to a milestone I NEVER want to pass. But just last week I was saying to DH, that I felt like I'd gained 10 pounds this summer. I've not walked, I stayed in away from the heat, I sat at the computer, and my clothes are fitting in a new way that I really don't like... I was sure I'd passed that dreaded milestone.

But I got on the scales when YS had an appointment yesterday, I could not beleive my eyes, 13 pounds lighter than my last visit! What? I got on again five minutes later just to be sure... I did the calculations over and over in my mind. Having guessed that I'd gained 10, even planning on the shame of it, loosing 13 really felt like loosing 23! You know, 23 pounds less than I expected... I think NOTHING would have made my day any better yesterday, and NOTHING could make it worse.

I give some credit to the chiropractor, whether he's taken pressure off the nerves that control the organs that run my metabolism, or whether being pain free makes me move more than I noticed, kudos to Doc. I'd also say I've mostly quit nightime snacking, and my breakfast choices are actually portion controlled now... no more heaping triple servings of cereal... Who knows, but I love the feeling, I think I'll be stepping out more, just so I can be 1 step closer 2 another scale surprise in a few more months.... Cross your fingers and step out with me.

1 step closer 2 a less 'cagey' pooch

2010-08-27T09:22:00.002-05:00

School started a week ago. And I've been working more. And since we still don't trust the dog to be loose in the house when we're not here, he's spent more time in his kennel the past two weeks than he did all summer long.

I told the kids yesterday, that he's got kennel fever, as opposed to cabin fever!

Poor, poor puppy. It's my day off (ask me if I'm going to do any work? of course I am...) In the course of talking to my DH about what to do today, he suggested a walk. So I put YS and DD on the bus, then set out on the short loop, .6 miles, all to help the dog be a bit less 'cagey'. It wasn't bad for me either....

1 step closer 2 the terazzo

2010-08-26T22:39:00.002-05:00

We made the same walk as yesterday, 1.36 miles, simple out and back, but I increased the pace a bit and got it done in a few minutes less than yesterday.

I was a little short of breath, a pretty hot and sweaty. I poured a big glass of decaffeinated tea, took a swig and laid down on the kitchen floor, anticipating a refreshing coolness between the terrazzo floor and the newly installed ceiling fan (thanks a ton to dh and his dad). Alas, it didn't seem to be cool at all.

What? where was the refreshing coolness of a floor made with concrete, rocks and metal? (It's the floor you'll find in the lobby of Century II and our church.) I was a bit cooler, but not the refreshing shock of cold that I expected.

I rolled over and felt heat on my face... it was from the motor of the refrigerator... duh. Next time I want to be 1 step closer 2 the cool terrazzo, I'll pick a different part of the kitchen, it will be cooler across the room.

1 step closer 2 discipline

2010-08-25T22:31:00.002-05:00

Self discipline is not my strong suit... I do good to get dressed and brush my teeth each day. Some where in my past, I found that it's OK to do something halfway and 'finish it later', or to divide a job into parts and maybe, just maybe someone else would finish it before I got it done!

This blog really helped me create some discipline about exercise in the past year, and I've fallen off the wagon, fortunately the wagon didn't go anywhere while I was off it, basking in the cool of air conditioning, instead of sweating in the heat. So, here's my attempt to get back on the wagon. 1.36 miles underfoot on a beautiful, just past full moon night.

My back doesn't hurt at all now, thanks to the chiropractor and this magic fingers, so that excuse is gone. It's a lot cooler this week, dang! that takes away that excuse too. With my DH's support, we'll take walks each evening, and when I don't get in the steps, I'll be doing my back exercises.

That discipline will help with keeping the dishes washed, and the laundry folded too, it might also help with writing, working on and Sharpieing a to do list each day....

We're 1 step closer 2 discipline, something I should have developed a long time ago....

1 step closer 2 a curve

2010-05-18T13:16:00.002-05:00

A curve? Why would you want to be closer to a curve?

Well, the x-rays indicate that I don't have a curve at the top of my spine. Sometime in the past 20 years I injured my neck - I can think of a car wreck for one, and a throw from a horse for two that could be the culprits. No curve, not good, stressed muscles, pinched nerves and mirrored issues in the lower back, where I've been having a TON of pain lately... not so much that I couldn't function during the day, but enough that at night when I went to roll over, I'd actually wake up and think twice about whether I really wanted to.

Last week I started treatment by a chiropractor who uses the Pettibon system- named for a Mr. Pettibon. Pettibon has a systematic use of 6 particular exercises to be used in a specific order to help the body accept and eventually live in accordance with the adjustments made by the chiropractor. I have 4 exercises to do each morning, then those same 4 with an additional 2 each night. I do the same 4 exercises each time I visit Doc (3-4 times a week).

Who would have thought that 6 minutes of neck stretching would wear me out? That rolling on a 6 inch diameter rod of Styrofoam would make me breathless? That rocking on a 'wobble chair' would fatigue me?

The cool thing is that after just one visit, I was happier, and able to roll over in bed. I didn't have to grab the wall while walking up and down stairs, and I'm actually less hungry. With four visits under my belt my body isn't pain free, it really has to get used to functioning in a new way, but it does feel better all the way around. Go figure.

Thus I plead guilty to not walking much last week, I was tired from the mental and physical changes brought on by my exercises and adjustments. But I was back at it Sunday.

Sunday I got in a mile while Ken and the guys were playing war games.
Monday I got in .6 miles while waiting for OS end of year choir concert.

Though my blog has been silent, I've been moving, 1 step closer 2 a curve.

1 step closer 2 sprinkles

2010-05-11T22:27:00.003-05:00

Four days in a row! I think this might be a new walking record for me.

My DH and I stepped out just as it was starting to sprinkle very lightly. As we stepped it gradually got heavier, bit by bit, but it never turned to real rain for the whole 1 mile.

It's hard to be utterly spiritual and deep when walking and talking with a spouse about the daily stuff of our lives, but it makes the daily stuff so much better.

It's not always possible for us to step out and about together, but it sure is nice when it happens.

We're 1 step closer 2 being a little damp and a little healthier.

1 step closer 2 the storm passing over

2010-05-10T19:28:00.003-05:00

"How can there be so many ripples in such a little puddle?" It's a question asked by Mr. Brown of his wife in the movie, National Velvet. ( Mrs. Brown is my hero of a mother - check it out if you haven't seen Elizabeth Taylor in her breakout role as Mrs. Brown's daughter, Velvet.)

We've been talking about storms around here all day. They were predicted, and they came; rain, wind and even sirens announcing a tornado or two in the vicinity. Our street doubles as a storm drain for almost a quarter square mile and one could use a raft in the street during such a storm.

The storm did no damage here, but I'm sure it left it's mark. Sometimes a storm's mark is a good one, like needed rain or respite from heat. Sometimes it's broken branches, ripped shingles, dented vehicles, even ruined crops. Two things are certain, the storm WILL pass, and the storm WILL leave it's mark.

Mr. Brown's storm had to do with run away horses, daughters with big dreams and a drifter who was looking to take advantage of him. Mrs. Brown's storms involved memories of a challenge overcome, daughters in love and a husband who didn't understand big dreams. Everyone has a storm, some little showers of tears for dying friends, some torrents of frustration for hurting children, some hurricanes of emotions and pain from divorce.

Our storms this week are a bit unusual, it's like being used to the forever damp of Seattle, and being hit by a heat wave of 100 + temperatures. Very uncomfortable, not unbearable, just weird. DH and I took a walk after the storm today, talking about our present personal storms and it helped. Just sharing a few words and steps with my husband brought some encouragement, some insight, some hope for this storm as it passes. In our 1 mile walk, we were 1 step closer 2 this storm passing over, it'll make us stronger and more prepared for the next storm that comes our way.

p.s. I don't know that I ever knew I'd make it to 100 posts on this blog, but this is it, number 100. I'm walking more because of the blog, and I'm blogging more because of the walking. Should I continue?

1 step closer 2 family

2010-05-09T21:26:00.002-05:00

I've been a mother for 12 years. I could even claim to have 29 years of parenting experience.

It's Mother's Day, and I took the kids for a walk to the park, along with the dog. We got a mile under our belts, chased a run away dog, swung as high as we could and got back just in time to meet my in-laws who were coming for a Mother's Day dinner.

DH grilled, we had asparagus, watermelon, strawberries and yummy Panera bread.

I even got time to call my Mom for Mother's Day. It was a good walk, we were all 1 step closer 2 being a stronger family together.

1 step closer 2 treating a headache

2010-05-08T17:02:00.002-05:00

I couldn't sleep today. It's impossible to sleep when the kids are awake and in the house. I didn't sleep in this morning, and when I tried to take a nap this afternoon, I had bad dreams along with to being able to sleep due to screaming in the basement.

I woke up from the nap grumpy, over hot and with a headache and earache. I just avoided doing anything for a good 40 minutes. Watched brain candy on Netflix and played bejeweled until the headache was worse. Motivation then kicked in:

I've practically promised a doctor that I'll walk 20 minutes a day. I drank 16 ounces of water, set the timer on on phone for 10 minutes, then hit the sidewalk. It was amazing the headache was gone almost immediately, and returned almost the minute I stopped walking.

.90 miles of relief. I'll drink another big glass of water and remember that taking a walk can bring me 1 step closer 2 headache relief.

1 step closer 2 taming my anger

2010-05-04T22:00:00.000-05:00

I was mad, so mad I cried and folded laundry, then grabbed my shoes and socks and took a walk.

I set a goal of a short .6 mile walk, and at about .5 miles I had the most horrible thought about the situation. It made me pause. It made me realize that I couldn't keep going along that thought path. That thought would have been detrimental not only to me, but to the relationship, a relationship I cherish and need to protect.

I called on God to take that thought from me. I believe in evil, and I know that thought was a foothold of evil to come into that relationship. The Bible promises that those who call on the name of Jesus can drive out evil, so I did. I spoke the name of Jesus and his sacrificial blood to replace the words of anger that were swirling in my head - thoughts and words that had no foundation in truth, love or understanding.

It helped, I lost all animosity immediately, and then had to remind myself not to pick it up again. God can take away the pain, but it's up to us so not pick it up again.

I got home and things were so much better than before the walk, internally and externally... the walk took me 1 step closer 2 God and 1 step closer to taming my anger.

1 step closer 2 my soulmate

2010-05-03T22:34:00.002-05:00

We spent allllll weekend together, just me and my DH.
And OS, and DD an YS. Don't get me wrong it was a great weekend, a wedding, swimming, shopping, but it was the 5 of us alllllll weekend.

Our walk was the first time it's been just the two of us (except for sleeping) since last Thursday. (Now compared to those I know and love who have a deployed spouse, or are separate, divorced, etc. I apologize for this blog, and my petty complaint in desire for 'us' time.)

That said I know that being married to this guy for over 16 years is.... pick the word you'd place:
a blessing,
an accomplishment.
amazing.
wonderful.
fabulous.
fortunate.
lucky.
crazy.

Today I call it comfortable. We're communicating better than ever, even when we don't agree, and I don't break into tears the first time he looks at me sideways. On our 1.0 LDS loop walk we talkeD about vacation this summer. We talked about a potential vacation next year and even in 10 years! We both were gimpy for different reasons for a bit but walked them out. We even held hands a bit and finished the walk with a kiss....

1 step closer 2 my soulmate is a great place to be!

1 step closer 2 my Jesus

2010-04-30T15:31:00.002-05:00

Sharpie to do list today... bank, church, library, laundry, etc. talking to my sister - also my walk Kansas team captain, she suggested a walk, too late, it was already on the list.

What a beautiful day to walk in Wichita, blue skies gentle breeze, puffy clouds, robins all along the way. I took less than 20 minutes to do the same route I did yesterday and all along the way I couldn't do anything but smile as I thought about my homebound visit to Mary* yesterday..

Mary is so full of joy and love. She smiles and laughs even as she stumbles over words as a result of a stroke years ago. During our conversation I asked about her faith, she put her hand to her chest, let out a sigh of contentment, nodded, smiled and simply said, "my Jesus."

I said, "Do you know the song that starts that way?" she shook her head, and I reached past my insecurity of singing to share with her these words: the opening verse a song by Michael W. Smith "Shout to the Lord":

My Jesus, my Saviour,

Lord, there is none like You

All of my days, I want to praise,

The wonders of your mighty love

My comfort, my shelter,

Tower of refuge and strength

Let every breath, all that I am

Never cease to worship You

As I sang the words, I saw in her eyes that she knew these words to be true, in her widowhood, in her homeboundness, in her stroke recovery, she knew that her Jesus was her tower of strength, her refuge.

And together, sitting in her one room assisted living apartment we were sharing that sense of never ceasing to worship Jesus. As I prayed she echoed my words with phrases like, - yes Lord and - praise Jesus. I left Mary's house with a sense of walking on clouds. She lifted my heart to the Lord, and filled my day with the joy of her smile, that lasted even to today. I could do nothing on my walk but think this song, over and over and over again. Thanks to Mary, I was 1 step closer 2 Jesus.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i6G0U8Vg6nY&feature=related - a video of American Idol constants singing this song.

1 step closer 2 being ready for summer

2010-04-29T22:28:00.000-05:00

They just won't move.. forgive me, they move, then they stop, then they roll on the floor, read a book, wrestle with each other, argue for a later time....

If I just had nose rings for my three children, then I could be assured of their attention with just a slight tug on the ring. HA!

Really? I thought I'd not want summer to come, but if it gets us away from four pages of homework every night and sitting there prodding YS to put his pencil to paper instead of telling jokes to his brother, staring into space or trying to tell me about his next invention, bring on summer baby!

I love my children, and probably - no definitely - have indulged them much too often, but the last two weeks have been ridiculous in getting them out the door in the morning, and ready for bed at night. It's a lot like the mommy song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXgoJ0f5EsQ

And a walk was just what I needed tonight to calm down for sleeping. DH, dog and the short loop - .8 miles in 20 minutes, not pushing it just getting a new start on the evening, yep I hate the heat, but I love my kids and spending time with them will be a blessing this summer, nose rings or not, we're 1 step closer 2 being ready for summer.

1 step closer 2 pushing myself

2010-04-27T22:25:00.002-05:00

It's the last week of the Walk Kansas competition. And our team coach said to 'push yourself' this week.

She meant to walk harder or longer or add more to your workout... Today I just had to push myself out the door. * ha*

The dog and I went out and back taking 30 minutes to go .8 miles. That's pretty pathetic compared to what I've done in recent weeks. Gotta get moving, gotta step out, gotta push myself, thanks coach for making me take 1 step closer 2 pushing myself.

1 step closer 2 just doing it

2010-04-21T21:28:00.002-05:00

I just did it. I set the timer on my new phone and walked for 20 minutes, then turned around and walked home... 40 minutes.. 1.75 miles in the neighborhood.

I didn't want to but I had to. My sisters made me do it... See the plural? One forced me to sign up for a Walk Kansas team and the other one is kicking my butt in the number of minutes she walks in a week.... boo hoo, poor me. They didn't really make me do it, I just did it.

I didn't want to drive by Dairy Queen on my way home today. I wanted to stoop and get a cheeseburger and a small (or maybe medium) Georgia Mud Fudge Blizzard. Chocolate, brownies and pecans... I wanted one bad, even had the money in my purse, but I drove right on by, I just did it.

I didn't want to cry on my walk, I wanted to focus on God and the amazing things shared at student life downtown tonight. I wanted to rethink the stuff I shared about how God is so much bigger than science, and carbon dating, anthropology, meteorology, astronomy and any -ology, even theology, that we will never really understand God and his creation, no matter what theories arise. But I cried anyway, thinking of the "Liebe" I wrote on my arm in honor of the To Write Love on Her Arm philosophy of helping girls who are desperate for love, to see it in their lives: http://www.twloha.com/vision/ I just did it.

As grown ups we do what we want and sometimes we do what we don't want. Tonight I took a few steps out, for me, for my body, for my kids, for my soul, for my mind, and my back, and my heart and even for my sisters... I was 1 step closer 2 just doing it.

1 step closer 2 Jude

2010-04-17T22:28:00.003-05:00

I walked Wednesday but didn't blog... Part of a service project in downtown Wichita, Another adult, 5 middle schoolers and myself did 1.5 miles picking up trash around our new downtown arena. I still haven't been inside yet, should try it out for that 1% sales tax we paid for 3 years or so in order to get it!

Tonight I had to make up lost time and push myself harder than recent memory can attain. I set the timer for 15 minutes and set out, turned around when it beeped, then was joined by my husband for the second 30 minutes of the walk... I know it's still slow, only 2.5 miles an hour, but I was breathing harder than 'regular' and did walk up a sweat in this 55 degree weather.

For the first 30 minutes, when it was just me and a sliver of the moon, I didn't thing of anything profound, or make any life changing decisions. I just walked... and hummed and sang and thought the Jude song over and over and over again. I don't know who composed the Jude song, I just know I learned it as a student at First United Methodist Church in Wichita Kansas - where I'm now employed as the Director of Congregational Health ministries and am part of the Congregational Care Team (It'd take a whole bunch more words to explain all that entails.)

So the Jude song is from that itty bitty book of the Bible that has only one chapter. It's a musical version of verses 25 and 26 and when I actually stood outside the song and heard the words (after singing, thinking it for 20 minutes straight - it became apparent that it's the song my life needs right now.

Now to him who is able to keep you,
Who is able to keep you from stumbling - I definitely don't want to stumble while taking my walks!

And to make you stand in the presence,
of his glory blameless with great joy - today I actually had a cry session about the joy I was lacking in my heart while standing neck deep in blessings! What a spoiled prat I've been lately.

To the only God our Father,
through Jesus Christ our Lord - You should have heard YS prayer at dinner tonight. "God our only Father, and my birth father... " he got it that God is a father, and yet acknowledged DH as a father too... just might have made ya cry.

Be all glory, majesty, dominion and power,
for all time and now and forever - No matter how many steps I take today, or don't take, it's God in his glory, majesty, dominion and power that rules this place, that I should allow to rule my heart, and while finishing the walk with DH tonight, I realized that he's still God, even when rules and roles of our family change and we have to start rowing our 'boat' in a different manner because of changes in commitments and needs.

Amen, amen amen... It's a short book, only 26 verses, read it, come with me, 1 step closer 2 Jude.

1 step closer 2 consequences

2010-04-13T22:44:00.003-05:00

Today it was 20 minutes = 1 mile with a child of mine.

A child who was mad at me for supplying consequences for their behavior at school. He probably still doesn't see why he's grounded at home, since the incidence took place at school, but we've seen this behavior at home too... just not letting things go, or egging on a person, just to 'see if they really mean it.' Today he learned that the other kid meant it and he'll learn that I mean it too when I say you're grounded.

I recall a speaker at a Healthy Congregation retreat. He was a foster parent and his topic had to do with exercise and it's benefit on the body. At one point he shared research about how increased oxygen flow to the brain is essential to maintaining self-control, or to calm a person down.

I don't remember the exact reference, but I do remember his example. He shared how when a particular foster child was becoming angry, he'd invite the kid on a walk/talk session. How the outcomes were always better when the talk took place in conjunction with a walk, as it gave the body something to do, it let the kid feel as if the adult were 'with them' instead of it being a 'face off' and it increased oxygen flow allowing the brain to actually function better. I think it had to do with 'fight or flight... the body poised to deliver that oxygen and adrenalin to the muscles for fighting or fleeing, prevents the oxygen from being profuse in the decision making/logical location of the body.

We walked and we talked, and although I'm not at all sure that the issues are solved, nor totally preventable in the future, we were 1 step closer 2 understanding consequences.... both of us.

1 step closer 2 teamwork

2010-04-12T22:20:00.002-05:00

DH and I got 1.3 miles under our belts in 30 minutes tonight... walking and talking all the way.

We talked about vacation plans, meetings at work today, school behavior issues for one of the kids, and even the condition of our garden.

His legs are so much longer than mine, that if we counted steps I'm sure I took 30% more than he, and and certainly had my heart pumping harder than his. But he's my soul mate, my partner, my teammate in this life, and touching base is an important part of setting and achieving goals... what a mundane way to describe our relationship... our life together, the way we've come to work in tandem. Don't get me wrong, some days it's not so smooth as all that, but it certainly does work better when we've at least talked to each other.

So this week will go more smoothly, just because we were 1 step closer 2 teamwork tonight.

1 step closer 2 grief sharing

2010-04-10T09:12:00.004-05:00

I've been visiting home bound members of our church for over 2 1/2 years now. I have been heard to say that it's the best part of my job. I've developed relationships with women and men who have lived life to it's fullest and in some cases, continue to give of themselves to their families and neighbors.

For instance, Jessica still helps her daughter babysit three of her great-grandchildren, three days a week. Diedrie gratefully accepts a copy of the Upper Room for herself every other month and then asks for 5 more to share with her neighbors. Gerry (one of my men friends) insists on sharing part of his my life with me each time I visit, a slice of cake, a piece of pie.

Yesterday I made three visits and for the first time, my heart was heavy for my elderly friends last night. I've heard their stories, prayed for their deployed grandsons, held their hands, visited them in the hospital and attended their funerals and last night was the first time that it 'all piled up' in my heart. So many of my 'ladies' are widows... all out in love with their husband, all sleeping alone now. All that I assure that God is there for them in their loneliness, and yet their fate is one of my biggest fears.

I cried on the front steps for Jessica, and Diedrie and Gerry and Dot. I wept for those who have died widows, Annie, Lois, Patty, Edna, Ethel and Harriet. Then I invited my husband for a 1 mile walk. The sadness of life is almost measurable by the joys that were lost.... I find joy in walking with my husband, and it was easier to share my grief with him while walking that while sitting in the office, or kitchen or sofa... DH and I were 1 step closer 2 sharing a bit of grief, and that is a good thing, as 'grief shared is divided, and joy shared is multiplied.

1 step closer 2 understanding myslef

2010-04-07T11:06:00.002-05:00

1.75 miles this morning, combined with a couple of visits at a neighborhood memory care home. I assured my ladies that Jesus loved them, sang, prayed and hugged them, then took time to better my body with fitting in a walk.

As I walked I thought about how it seems that I am motivated to walk/exercise in different ways than the experts often suggest to those who are trying to get more exercise in their lives.

I discovered today that I'm not a schedule person. I'm a commitment person. Experts say, "Lock into a time and a place. Routine will help you add anything new to your life." Yeah, that doesn't work for me. There is very little about my life that is routine, except: Staff meetings, church and getting the kids to and from school.

Even today, I began with a plan of visiting four specific ladies, two of them could not refuse my visits and five phone calls later I had a very different plan for both today and a bit of Friday... I found as I thought about routine and my life that I really beat myself up when I don't keep a routine, I punish myself by eating or getting depressed, or just giving up. When I made the commitment to blog, then to the Walk Kansas team I had a commitment to keep, and I've had the flexibility to make it happen.

Walk with the kids, walk with my DH, walk with a co-worker.
Walk at the park, in the neighborhood, around downtown.
Walk after the kids are in bed, while waiting for kids to get out of school, in between home bound visits.
Walk in the snow, the rain, the wind, under blooming trees, along the river.

When I make the commitment to walk more, with a specific goal: 150 minutes a week, I can do it when it fits, and I don't have to be disappointed in myself for missing an appointment, or a class. I make the commitment to make it fit, rather than punishing myself when it doesn't.

Yep if you want me to do something, don't make it rigid, make it flexible and ask me to set a measurable goal that isn't associated with routine. I can take this information and apply it to other areas of my life, so I'm 1 step closer 2 understanding myself and how to get things done.

1 step closer 2 a team mate

2010-04-06T14:56:00.002-05:00

The NN'SANE walk Kansas team has two members who work in the same place, one of the three "N"s and the "E". I'm one of the N's, as my nick name growing up was Nise, an easy shortening of Denise.

Today I was in E's office and suggested a walk to break up the frustrations we were having with computers and life. She took me up on the offer and we booked it down the street.. She set a pace that stretched me a bit, and I felt bad because she didn't have walking shoes, but we had a good walk and talk and got .75 miles under our belt, as well as felt better when we got back to work.

Thanks, E for walking with me, maybe we should make part of our goal, to try to walk with our other team members on occasion. 1 step closer 2 a team mate, and reaching my goal of completing my commitment to the team.

1 step closer 2 managing the pain

2010-04-05T21:36:00.002-05:00

I know that I feel better when I walk, (I think I've said this all before), but today I really was in pain, cramps, hip, back and when I started walking with DH, it was in my knee for a block or so.

I've walked three times since my last blog.
Friday the kids had off, and we went to the zoo with a new friend of DD's.
Saturday I walked 1.5 miles at the local university... once again, I'm amazed at how far these feet can take me in a half an hour.
Tonight was what I lovingly call the LDS loop, it's in the neighborhood and I encircle the LDS church and get just at a mile under my belt. I know it wasn't as far as Saturday, but I was going a lot slower tonight.... I'll feel better tomorrow and have no problems getting in my steps that will help in managing the pain...

1 step closer 2 walking like a sailor

2010-03-31T16:54:00.002-05:00

I always said this blog would be about positive things, today when I walked I had no crazy revelations, no stirring prayers, just me and a crooked sidewalk.

No wonder I never see people walking along this pathway, It seemed like I was walking on a ship with a great list to one side and then to the other side on the way back.

So I walked 1.42 miles and felt like I was walking along a ship most of the way! 1 step closer 2 walking like a sailor (appropriate, as all three of my grandfathers were in the navy)!

1 step closer 2 a memory of faith

2010-03-29T17:40:00.002-05:00

Phone alarm set for 15 minutes. Out and back route on the old railroad route. Not as far as last week, as I was a bit hobbled by a calf muscle pain but it's mostly gone now. 1.24 miles.

I started out with my mantra prayer - directed at my cousin-in-laws' family who are saying goodbye to their patriarch at a funeral today. I prayed for his wife, for his kids (I think I even remembered all their names....) they each got a stanza of my thoughts...
O Lord I pray for Peter*,
Sweet Jesus I lift up Peter,
Holy Spirit be with Peter,
Heal, heal his heart.

I jumped from this family to my work family who have been grieving parents in this past year; mother, mother-in-law, father. They each filled my mind as I prayed for their healing and wholeness. I thought of other families who have dealt with death and I couldn't miss my own father's grief at the loss of his parents in the past two years. It led me to my most vivid memory of my Grandmother's faith and I spoke it into the wind and let the consciousness of her words and how they settled in my soul wash over me, and the next thing I knew my eyes were moist.

Grandma's faith was strong. It was demonstrated in so many ways, and yet it was her words of absolute certainty of her future in heaven and that she didn't search for guidance in this world anywhere but in Christ. She didn't need to search out a way to talk to family members gone before, because she knew their location and had every faith that she would join them when it was time, and they could catch up then, and only then... This whole conversation grew out of an invitation for her to have her fortune told by a couple of preteen granddaughters playing at gypsy...

As I walked today, I was 1 step closer 2 that memory of faith, that moment in time when my grandmother's witness led me to be certain that I would never seek a palm reader, never look to the starts in the form of astrology, never ask some cards on a table to help direct my path in life. But I would revel in the gentle (OK maybe some times, gale force) direction of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Thank you Grandma for being there as I took that step of faith so long ago.

1 step closer 2 humor

2010-03-27T13:29:00.004-05:00

OS son had orchestra so we (the younger two kids and myself) took the camera and strolled a mile around campus taking photos as we went.

We've seen Tom Otterness http://webs.wichita.edu/?u=MARK2&p=/millipede/ sculptures in other parts of Wichita (outside WAM - the Wichita Art Museum) and in downtown Indianapolis Indian on a vacation in 2005... I'd forgotten this particular sculpture was his creation, but should have known. While I was 1 step closer 2 exposing my kids to art and photography, he was 1 step closer 2 allowing a millipede to squish a lady! Or maybe, just maybe, she is a saleswomon at a shoestore for oversized millipede. This guy could be her best customer. What do you all think?

Very clever Tom, I'll be on the lookout for a three foot tall millipede wearing a variety of shoes.

1 step closer 2 an old friend

2010-03-26T15:53:00.002-05:00

I walked to the middle school to pick up OS.

Sunny day, windy and clear and when I got to the school (.7 miles), I saw an old friend standing in front of the school. HL and I have been friends since 9th grade and she's a substitute teacher while attending school. A hug and a little chatting and we were headed back home.

So I got in 30 minutes while picking up the kid and 1.4 miles and I was 1 step closer 2 catching up with a friend from high school.

1 step closer 2 reducing the force

2010-03-25T22:03:00.002-05:00

"May the force be with you...." I love those movies, as does my husband and all my kids - although we haven't let them all see number 3, it's a little too dark for DD and YS. Star Wars, their analogy for God is 'the force', this mysterious good stuff that can empower amazing, miraculous even, things to occur.

If God is the force, I don't want to reduce that in my life.

But I do want to reduce the force exerted on my knees with every step I take. At the Diabetes Support Group that I attend as a facilitators' assistant each month, we recently hosted a speaker from the Arthritis Foundation. She spoke about how arthritis and diabetes have some of the same risk factors and even how treatment for one, can augment the development of the other...

The one take away fact that stuck in my mind - for every pound of weight a body is, 4 pounds of pressure is exerted on the knees with every step. A simple example: a 100 pound person, puts 400 pounds of pressure on their knees with every step.... Imagine a person who was tipping the scales at 250 pounds, they put 1000 pounds of pressure on their knees with every step (that's half a ton folks!) For tall men, who are built to carry that weight it's one thing, for someone like me, it's scary... The more I think of it the more scared I get.

So today I went on two walks, not because I'm scared of all that force, but because It's going to be nasty weather for the next few days and I HATE the treadmill and I've got to get my minutes in for Walk Kansas.. So today 10 minutes with OS and the dog after school, and 30 minutes with DH this evening. A total of 1.80 miles and 1 step closer 2 reducing the force on my knees.

1 step closer 2 amazement

2010-03-22T16:59:00.002-05:00

So I'm struggling with myself and having to shop for clothes... There is NO woman over the weight of 200 pounds who actually enjoys clothes shopping, if she says so, she is either LYING, or just CRAZY!

I also struggled with my Walk Kansas team leader who nagged me today about not having a true measurable goal - it's true, and I love the nagger, because she's doing so out of pure love... (thanks girl).

It was a BEAUTIFUL spring afternoon, and I had just a smidgen more than 30 minutes to walk before picking up OS from school... I parked the car, set my cell phone timer for 15 minutes from the moment, (plan - turn around and backtrack after 15 minutes, it makes exactly 30 minutes...) and start of walking in my brand new tennis shoes (I think I'll really like these LA Gear lace ups.)

I walked a path that I've taken at least twice before in the past 8 months... I thought, I'll make it just to the running track and it'll be time to turn back.
It wasn't.

I thought, I'll make to to the cell tower and it'll be time to turn back.
It wasn't.

I thought, surely I'll make it to the back lot of that store and It'll be time to turn back.
It wasn't.

I thought, I surely can't make it to the main road. No way, that will be almost 1 1/2 miles round trip in half an hour. The alarm will go off before I get there.
It didn't.

One step from the busy road, the phone beeped! I touched the sidewalk and turned around walking back. I was breathing harder than normal, I even was a little sweaty in the breeze, but I had walked further than ever in 30 minutes since I started on this journey in August. I was 1 step closer 2 amazing myself!

When I got home and used mapmyrun.com, I figured my walk totaled 1.47 miles! I know to those who are more fit, and work out more than I it's not long, but that means I was walking 3 miles an hour! It means that my endurance is growing, it means that I'm pushing myself to do more. It means that there is hope that some day I won't have to shop in a store that carries nothing smaller than a 0X (did you know such a size existed?)...

Thanks team leader.... I'm taking your next suggestion to write everything I eat down into consideration... I'll let you know.

1 step closer 2 spring

2010-03-21T17:57:00.002-05:00

As fast as the weather changed on Friday, it changed back today, taking a bit longer and keeping the wind. But the sun was shining and I needed to shop.

Along the way we stepped over puddles from melting snow.
We witnessed a neighborhood cat basking in a sunbeam on it's front porch.
Saw couple of daffodils in bloom - they have beaten ours to the 'show'.
Might have even heard a bird or two.

We walked to Walgreen's and back, with the boys on theirs wheels. 1.1 miles there and back. 1 step closer 2 spring... bring it on.

1 step closer 2 a practical joke

2010-03-19T21:43:00.003-05:00

So I walked a whole (at first I typed hole by mistake, because I type it so often -- it's my name.. for 16 years now!) mile last night with DH to return the Redbox movie....

Then today I cajoled the kids into a walk. It was 60 and beautiful when we left the house and I left them at the park, by the time I got back to them, just four short blocks later the wind had picked up. By the time we headed home it was 10 degrees cooler and the wind was brisk... blowing pretty hard. In came the cold front and up went the hoods, I felt almost sorry for my DD, as she was wearing shorts, but I had suggested pants and a jacket. How gallant of her little brother to give her is jacket!

Half way home, OS, is already home, as he rode his bike, and DD and YS are about a house and a half in front of me, I see a black four door car slowly trolling the street. I recognize the driver and car, my two younger children are deep in conversation and don't notice it, even as it pulls into the driveway they are crossing.

Then my DH honks. YS jumped out of his skin, and DD later reported that her heart was beating very hard.... I couldn't stop laughing, it was worth being short of breath and cold just to be 1 step closer 2 a joke.... DH offered me a ride home, but I declined, I had to get my time in for the WALK KANSAS.... 1.25 miles and 30 minutes.... Go girls, GO.

1 step closer 2 entertainment

2010-03-15T14:51:00.002-05:00

It's spring break, OS had a play date, DD had a play date, and poor YS was stuck with mommy for a while. He accepted an invitation to go on a walk with me and the dog - he declined the invite for a bike ride because he was afraid that he would fall, and I would be too far ahead and wouldn't help him up. You'd think he'd know me better than that!

So we took a four bridge walk for 35 minutes, going 1 1/4 mile. I don't think I've taken a walk in the past 8 months where I smiled so much!

YS is a budding inventor. His mind is full of robotic contraptions that would make life better for the world and those he loves. Today he had a way to pick up litter and recycle it. Also a robot that that would rocket pack onto a roof that was leaking and fix it in an instant. I kinda zoned out, but kept smiling as at the end of the walk he added a seasonal robot that would deal with leaves, snow and rain...

I was 1 step closer 2 being entertained by my son. I think I'll invite him for another walk again soon...

1 step closer 2 honesty

2010-03-14T22:47:00.002-05:00

DH and I got in 1.2 miles on Saturday morning while the kids were cartoon vegging that I didn't blog about. Then we got in that same distance on a different route today!

I'm grateful that DH will walk with me when I invite him. On his solo walks he always goes further and faster than I. So I know that he must intentionally slow down with me along.

As we walked today we talked about how much we actually were overweight, and how we love each other despite the extra pounds, and the only reason the weight of our spouse bothers us, is that we really like each other and want to grow old together.

So he's actually joining me on this journey, if you will, to intentionally live healthier so that we can live healthier together long into the future. It helps to start that journey with being 1 step closer 2 open honesty with your spouse, and knowing that their true concern is not a photograph, nor a look, but a life... his, mine, ours.

1 step closer 2 prayer

2010-03-11T17:54:00.002-06:00

I HAD to walk today. I missed two days already, and have to walk 5 times a week for the WALK KANSAS team. and I did it. 30 minutes, out and back down Armour Street. It was cold and a little rainy, but it was the first walk I've taken in a while by myself... I even had to start focusing on my breathing by the end!

The personal prayer that God gave me over 8 years ago came back.

O Lord I pray for Mary,
Dear Jesus I lift up Mary,
Holy Spirit, please fill Mary,
Heal her heart.

I prayed it for co-workers.
I prayed it for fellow Walk Kansas team members.
I prayed it for my family.

I was back in the swing of things, even though I'd much rather be back in a cozy warm home. I was 1 step closer 2 God, 1 step closer 2 my Walk Kansas goal, and 1 step closer 2 prayer.

1 step closer 2 wild onions

2010-03-09T16:33:00.003-06:00

Once again my OS didn't hesitate to agree to come on a walk with me. This time he abandoned his bike in favor of the dog.

I set the timer on my phone for 15 minutes and walked till it rang, then walked back. That made 1.2 miles for my 30 minutes for the Walk Kansas report for today!

We walked along the creek, seeing small new blue buds on some of the grasses, robins hopping along the creek, and water gushing down drain pipes. Ducks swam on the pond and I introduced OS to small clumps of wild onions that grow near the creek. We pulled them, rubbed the leaves and smelled our hands... Yep, most definitely onions.

I figure the if the economy heads so far south that we have to scrounge for food, we'll be 1 step closer 2 onions for soup!

1 step closer 2 going NN' SANE

2010-03-07T17:31:00.004-06:00

NN' SANE is the name of the Walk Kansas team that I'm participating in.

It's every one's first initials (with a few nick names) all mixed up. If we each walk for 30 minutes five times a week, for eight weeks, we'll have walked the total distance of walking across the state of Kansas.

Toady was the first day of reporting for the Walk Kansas program. To get in my 30 minutes (1.4 miles) today I invited my family members to join me on a walk. To my surprise not one of them balked. One on a scooter, one on a bike, one with the dog and my DH went to the playground. DH and the dog went on an auxiliary walk, and I walked around the playground while the kids played, I even got on the swing for part of my workout (I wonder if that is on approved activity list for Walk Kansas).

So I'm not really going insane, but I'm 1 step closer 2 getting healthier with team NN' SANE.

1 step closer 2 spring

2010-03-05T16:40:00.002-06:00

Son #1 has finally mastered riding a bike! He and I went on a walk/ride. I walked 1.2 miles and he rode a bit further because he had to keep going in circles to stay nearby.

It as a gorgeous March day in Kansas.... A bit windy, but it looked like the weeping willow appeared to be waving at me as the clouds rolled by.

I can't wait for the daffodils to be in bloom, and I can't hardly believe that I've actually stepped out three times this week already! Here's 1 step closer 2 spring!

1 step closer 2 blessing

2010-03-04T22:16:00.003-06:00

I love my DH. I adore my DH. Today a friend who dreams of becoming a Certified Nurse Aid (CNA) but must get her GED first was sitting in my office.

"Did you start as a CNA?" she asked.
"No, I went straight to college and got my Bachelor's and my RN"
"You're lucky. You're so lucky." Said my friend who finished the 8th grade and has lived her life since dreaming of the next step that would be so much easier if she had finished high school or even taken her GED as a youth.

She's only partly right. I'm blessed. Blessed that my DH insisted on me getting a degree after we were married. Blessed that even on the days that I wish I could stay home and just be mom, he says, "I know you and if you didn't have a job, you just might never leave this house."

He's right, I'm an introvert, most definitely so this walk I intentionally took solo because I've been on people and child overload for a few days. I lengthened what has become a standard 1 mile walk, and was surprised to realize I doubled it to 2 miles... 30 minutes. I was gimpy in the end, but I kept going and was 1 step closer 2 my blessing of a husband when I got home.

1 step closer 2 a team

2010-03-02T21:45:00.003-06:00

Beginning next week sometime I'm joining a walking team.

Walk Kansas is in it's 9th year and I've heard good things, and can always use an accountability partner or two (or 5 in this case). (I personally consider this blog a type of accountability partner.... I guess anyone reading this can be... Especially my friend, HH who is to call me on the carpet if there aren't enough entries here.)

DH and I make the 1.1 mile LDS loop, got short of breath a bit, got a bit gimpy by the end and my cheeks are still rosy from the chilly night.

Back to Walk Kansas. When my sister asked via e-mail if I wanted to join, I confirmed it with a caveat that I could blog about it. Blog away was her response, so next week we start a virtual journey across the state of Kansas: my two sisters, my sisters-sister-in-law; my sister's neighbor (my co-worker) and a friend of (you guessed it) my sister. Someone more creative than I is working on a name and then we'll work towards personal goals of 2 1/2 hours of activity a week as well as consuming more fruits and vegetables.

If you want to play the game to, check out: http://www.walkkansas.org/DesktopDefault.aspx. What a great way to get 1 step closer 2 being a team with friends and family.

1 step closer 2 a good book

2010-02-26T19:41:00.003-06:00

It's book club night. I joined this group right at a year ago and it's been a wonderful experience, new friends, new tomes, laughter and always good food.

By taking a .7 mile trek with the dog I'll feel a little less guilty when we eat biscuts and gravy and pecan pie in honor of the book, "Crossroads Cafe".

1 step closer 2 my family

2010-02-17T21:36:00.003-06:00

Crazy busy day. I tried to get in a lot of visits today, but only a couple really worked out.

Two sweet visits: One with 'Raquel' who is so far into dementia that I often don't even introduce myself, as it just distresses her that she can't remember me. Today we sat and talked about the roses that were on the table. We sang a song or two with the word 'rose' in them, and then I picked an Easter song in honor of Ash Wednesday. It was only after we were done that I realized "Up from the Grave He A-rose" fit our floral theme as well... that brought on a few chuckles.

The second visit was with "Darcy". Within five minutes of our first visit, we realized that we both grew up in the same stomping ground some 55 years apart! Not only that, but she said, "I know a T___that married a S_____ girl." - my uncle who married my aunt! The connections God puts in our paths are so often amazing. I had to call my aunt as soon as I got home. Yes she knows Darcy. Yest Darcy and her mother even went to school together, and then I got to visit with my aunt, something I don't do often at all... Something I should do more often.

God keeps revealing to me that His family is my family. On my calling list, I've got the grandmother of a girl I teach in Sunday School, my family's backyard neighbors from my high school years, a couple that have known my husband since his high school days, and the wife of one of my father-in-law's co-workers! All in a city of over 300,000 people!

So tonight as I try to warm up from my 1.35 mile walk with DH, I thank God for the family I was born into, and the Christian family that I shared life with today: my home bound friends, the youth singing "The Truth Shall make Your Free", and the congregation nailing their sins on the cross and receiving the ashes tonght. I love being 1 step closer 2 family.

1 step closer 2 adding variety

2010-02-15T21:50:00.004-06:00

No school today - miss planned and showed up at dentist one hour late - fought the draconian stack of papers on my desk - worked for almost 3 hours even though I took a day of vacation - go figure...

After an evening meeting, I invited the DH on a walk, we did the 1.1 mile walk - up around the LDS church and back, brisk paced feet and brisk paced talking as well, I'm glad I invited him along, but that means I don't have any deep, profound spiritual revelations to share.

I did get home with a very warm torso and very cold ears and arms, it wasn't too windy, but as I changed after the walk, I contemplated those Pilates cards that Santa got me a few years ago. It's a deck of cards with various Pilates motions on each of them. see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pilates

They're labeled by focus: Legs, Arms, Core Muscles, Stretching, etc.... and I've sorted them various times and sometime in the past six months placed them in the closet sorted so as to pick up a small deck and have a variety of body parts addressed in one session, instead of all arms, or all legs, etc.

I laid on the floor and performed:
Large Arm Circles
Neck Stretches
Leg Twists and
Thigh Crunches.

Adding a few extra cool down motions to my walk will add a little variety, I'll be 1 step closer 2 adding a bit of spice to my intentional movements. Hey I may even add a bit of tone to some muscles!

1 step closer 2 penguins, anacondas and parrots

2010-02-12T21:31:00.004-06:00

You know what I did today, based on the title of this blog.

I really believe the Sedgwick County Zoo is one of the most impressive zoos ever! And it's in the middle of Kansas. Two trips to the zoo make a family membership worth it for our clan, and we've been members for at least 8 years now... We'd be there a lot more often if it were on 'our' side of town.

Our standard trip includes this question when we arrive. "What one animal must you see today?" Each person names an animal, then a trek is plotted that entails each of the animals. It makes everyone happy, as you always see more than originally planned, and each trip is new and exciting. Today's picks: monkeys, penguins, the jungle (minus bats if you please for son #1) and the reptile house (minus snakes if you please for DD). I didn't add to the list, but made an appropriate plan to accommodate each persons #1 pick. No guarantees for their #2 choices.

No school today, so we picked up a younger cousin (my nephew) and we trekked 1.2 miles at the zoo (that includes an unscheduled trip to the car for lunch because I had left the keys in the unlocked car...). Good times, penguins gathering pampas grass and taking it into their nesting areas. Chimpanzees sitting in the sun eating ice from the grass.... just like the summer time when zoo staff throw the chimps homemade ice pops with flavored water. The youngest giraffe sticking his tongue down a log and DD took her assignment to photograph as many birds as she could in the jungle. Son #1 has been assigned a task of teacher her (and maybe me in the process) how to turn those photos into a PowerPoint presentation.

Truth be told, I didn't take the kids to the zoo today for them, or because they asked. I'm sure they would have loved to spend ALL day playing their new Wii game. But I took them because I was getting a bit of cabin fever and really needed to walk. Sneaky? You bet, mom's have to be to get 1 step closer 2 joining the monkeys at the zoo.

1 step closer 2 frolicking

2010-01-30T10:32:00.005-06:00

There was a little golden book that we read as children: It was about Micky and Donald and all their friends going on a picnic. The final line of the book was, "We'll laugh and we'll play and we'll frolic all day and we won't get home until dark."

Yesterday my friend Bri was planning on going on a snow walk, it inspired me to ask DH to go on a walk with me this morning. I logged .85 miles and I know that hubby went further, as we parted ways and he went further, I walked for a ways by myself and I frolicked all by myself.

I wrote my initials in the snow on a table.

I saw a million sparkles in banks of snow.

I enjoyed looking at drifts of snow on rooftops that remind me of Switzerland.

I chuckled at the man shoveling snow in his slippers and bathrobe and bare legs.

I wrote a secret message for DH in the snow by stepping out symbols in a parking lot.

I listened to the silence.

I remembered another book from childhood called "Snow Day"

It was wonderful. I laughed out loud. I was 1 step closer 2 frolicking all day!

1 step closer 2 motivation

2010-01-26T07:33:00.002-06:00

I say it often at the Diabetes Support Group that I help facilitate, although as of yet, I'm not diabetic... "I learn a lot from being around all of you."

Last night the statement came back in the form of a question: "What have you learned from us?"

The biggest thing that group has taught me in 5 1/2 years is that knoweledge, applilcation and motivation are all different things and you really need all three to successfully change a lifestyle or manage a chronic disease.

I know that I need to move more.
I now have the tools needed to move more: shoes, sidewalk and sometimes a flashlight
But, Motivation is so lacking in my desire to be healthier. What? yep, motivation and the values clashes that keep me off the sidewalk, in front of a computer, or in bed, or doing just about anything besides walking.

So last night after Diabetes Support Group, I zipped up the jacket, and headed out in the chilly night (no wind thankfully). I made it .7 miles and kept up a mantra half the way home: Father, Son, Spirit, Kingdom, Power, Glory (that's another blog in itself).

It was me last night: 1 step closer 2 motivation.

1 step closer 2 healing

2010-01-25T21:41:00.003-06:00

I was sick last week... So sick I actually filed for sick days from work instead of just taking comp time for the first time in 5 years.

DH and I both stayed home from work last Wednesday... Both exhausted, both stuffy sinus, nasal, did I say stuffy? Thankfully, no upset stomach, fever, sore throat or cough, just plain old fatigue.

It must have been Thursday that I took a 'mini' walk while waiting to pick up son #1 from school. I walked the fence line, which amounts to 4/10 of a mile, but I was really pushing it physically. It was hard to breathe, and every step was a decision, "Should I turn around now?" "No, keep going you wienie."

I kept thinking about how fresh air should make me feel better. How in Switzerland all three of my host mothers (in different homes at different times) would send me to take a steaming shower to ALMOST TOO HOT bath and while I was doing that, they'd air out my bedroom. Some days it was downright chilly but I always made me feel better for a while anyway. (Thanks Dolores, Yvonne and Eliza.)

So I wasn't sure if I was making my cold worse or making it better, but I was moving and I'm better now, so I guess I was 1 step closer 2 healing. But I was so tired that I got home and totally forgot to blog about it.... now that's sick!

1 step closer 2 a clash of values

2010-01-16T11:45:00.002-06:00

It sounds almost military, it doesn't sound positive, and I've vowed that my blog will be about stepping towards the positive things in life, and not away from the negative.

It's all the fault of a leadership training I attended this past week, and the 5 column exercise. I tried to explain this exercise to my DH on our 1.3 mile walk with the dog this morning as the kids filled their heads with the brain candy that is Saturday morning cartoons (We have only basic cable, so no Cartoon Network or Disney Channel to do that all week.)

In the 5 column exercise you analyze the values you hold that help you make choices that achieve a goal versus the values that you hold that make the decision to not reach your goal.

I value good health, the ability to walk long distances and a smaller body, those are the values behind my effort to walk more and thus this blog. But I must hold other values that impair my decision if and when to walk each day... While Kansas has been in the deep freeze these past few weeks, I have valued comfort (it was bitter cold out there), I have valued safety (was avoiding slipping on the ice) I have also valued watching a certain series on Netflix (the BBC serial series of Robin Hood has a very cute lead).

The the values of comfort, safety and eye candy have clashed with the values of health, weight loss and endurance. I hope we are back on track now, but analyzing the values behind our choices in everyday life can be quite eyeopening. It's a new way to look at things and it just might be a good thing to be 1 step closer 2 a clash of values.

1 step closer 2 a return

2010-01-12T06:21:00.003-06:00

It came in the mail last week, a piece of mail that I had come to not expect. It was a simple Christmas card from Kosmetickstudio Eliza.

Eliza was a host mom of mine while I lived in Switzerland in 1991-92. In contrast to another host mother, she opened not only her home to me, but her heart as well. My most vivid memory of her is her smile, and how I'd egg her on not to go for an after dinner smoke, buy washing dishes. She'd say, "Stop that and wait for me, you silly girl." (In Swiss German of course), and I'd say, "Stop that and come help me!" with a wink and a smile.

Eliza's husband Robert (When she said his name, you never heard the "t" , it was more like Robere (French like, you know) died sometime in 96 or 97 from a brain tumor, and I can count on one hand the times I've heard from her since.

I've sent her a Christmas card each year and this time, one came in return. Snow covered tree, surrounded by candles in the snow, it was beautiful, but it was the words on the back that made me cry... Roughly translated, the last line of the short note that told me she now has two grandchildren and another on the way, stated, "Will we ever meet again?"

Suddenly I was crying in my dining room for no reason other than I'm not sure, and deep in my heart I do want to meet her again. I do want to hear her voice and her laughter, I do want to hug her and go on a walk and meet her grandchildren. I do want to sit and eat Swiss food ( racklet and fondu and birchemusli), and have her meet my husband and possibly my kids. And in brutal honesty the only think keeping me from returning to Switzerland is my size.

I don't want to squeeze myself into an airplane seat for the journey.
I don't want to huff along through a train terminal if we're running to catch a train.
I don't want to meet someone I know, and have them think, " What happened to this lazy American?"

So if I want to overcome the things that are preventing my return, I must move. I must eat less. I must condition some muscles so I can walk up a mountain again. In reality the only barrier to my return is me.

So yesterday I was walking, at every break during a conference that I'm attending. I would walk through the glass covered concourse back tot he hotel... mapmyrun.com com says each of those trips was .15 miles... I figure that was .9 miles that I logged, when I could have been sitting at the conferee table snacking on more M & Ms. So this is me, saying if I want to return to a person and place in my past that I cherish, I must get moving, I must take a lot more than 1 step closer 2 a return.

1 step closer 2 an old friend

2009-12-20T21:19:00.003-06:00

Last night on my walk, I called my parents and talked to them for the last half of the walk. Tonight I made it .5 miles. At the second green light I pulled out my phone and chatted for the last mile (yep, I did the 1.5 miles that I intended for last night!).

Talking to 'Ann' on the phone made the time fly by. Only when I pushed the buttons for the garage door to open, and looked at my phone did I realize that we'd be talking for 25 minutes. Of course 25 minutes is nothing compared to the hours on end we used to talk as tweens.

I've known Ann since we were 5 years old. And while we haven't lived in the same town since we were 14, we've kept contact and nursed each other through some 'stuff'. It was good to talk. She and I had similar builds until High School, then something happened... I should ask her about it sometime:

She started taking her weight and her health very seriously. She eats well, and exercises faithfully, and I admire that. She's always trying a new kind of (what I call intentional movement) exercise. She's taken self defense classes, jogged, dance classes, and most recently a 'boot camp'. At this point in my life boot camp would kill me, of this I'm sure. But if I keep stepping out, maybe one day I'll put my life in the hands of a drill sergeant.

It was good to walk on a chilly December night and it was even better to be 1 step closer 2 an old friend (she's not old, but the relationship is has lasted 85% of my life.)

1 step closer 2 icecicle tears

2009-12-19T22:49:00.002-06:00

The kids were tucked in bed, DH was gaming with his friend and I set out on a walk that I planned on being close to a mile and a half... In the dark, on streets with which I wasn't familiar, I didn't take the turn that would lengthen my loop and only got a mile in tonight... Better than yesterday, maybe burned off one of the many cookies I ate tonight.

As I walked an old gospel song stuck in my head...
Just have a little talk with Jesus.
Tell him all about your troubles.
He will hear your faitest cry.
And he will answer by and by...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YYigys5By9s&feature=related

And the next thing I knew, I was crying as I thought about one of my ladies in hospice, who remineded of my Grandmother who died last January and then of the family of the woman whose funeral I attended this morning. It's a good thing that salt water tears have a lower freezing point that the 30 degrees it was tonight.

It was good to have a little talk with Jesus.
It was good to cry at sad things.
It was good to get out an move, even if I was 1 step closer 2 iecicle tears.

1 step closer 2 back on track

2009-12-19T11:05:00.002-06:00

It was yesterday that I walked the half a mile.

It was yesterday that I got off my butt and tried again.

I must keep trying, must keep moving, must try and try again.

So here's me, 1 step closer 2 starting over.

1 step closer 2 de-miffing myself

2009-12-14T06:34:00.004-06:00

.6 mile loop with DH last night...

I didn't want to do it.
My heart didn't ache to move.
We just needed a little time together.
About 1200 steps and a little forgiveness... He didn't even know he needed it, but I needed it more and didn't even tell him that I extended it to him. (got that?).

He miffed me, never knew why, and I forgave him. He didn't need the forgiveness, I did, it cleansed my attitude towards the man that is my partner in life, my soul mate (my Beshert... ask to see the inside of his wedding ring sometime.) I guess it was more than 1 step closer 2 getting un-miffed, it was a step closer 2 a stronger marriage.

1 step closer 2 poetry

2009-12-08T15:42:00.003-06:00

32 degrees
Misty Moisty afternoon
.6 mile walk this afternoon, my legs and nose are still cold but there was no wind and my arms, torso and head never got cold.

Today I'm like a tree on a wet winter day.
Surrounded by sorrow, like the moisture in the air.
The damp feelings collect, molecule by molecule on the twig.
Clinging to the branch 'til the dampness collects.
A drop hangs, dangles, sparkles.
A breeze, a hand, or gravity causes the drop to fall.
The trees weep.

1 step closer 2 the 'craving'

2009-12-01T21:08:00.002-06:00

Rough day. That's the only way to say it. Movement from 6:30 this morning to after 8, when I got home from a hospital visit that any pastor, nurse or Chaplin must dread.

Lots of emotions and fears in this day. Joy in helping people, combined with job angst, parental frustrations and an empty fridge that resulted in (gasp) pizza for dinner. (God bless Knolla's.)

The craziest part of the day started happening around 4 o'clock when I got to the school to pick up DD and YS. I couldn't shake the need to go on a walk, and immediately started planning said walk.

I thought: Yes, I'd go after the hospital visit. by myself, no dog this time. Take the flashlight for light if needed, and defense if needed. Just get moving and you'll feel better.

It was the 1.1 mile walk that I took a few nights ago. And I was going at a pace unlike I've done in this venture. Arms swinging, breathing at regular intervals, actually 'exercising', not just walking. And it felt GOOD.

I admit that no deep philosophical discoveries were made, no advances in my prayer life that will shape my faith. I didn't talk to myself tonight, or mull over the day, or even make plans for tomorrow or lists for tonight. I just walked.

I've heard that runners get a rush from running, that makes their sport almost addicting. Is that what I was wanting as I sat in the car planning my walk tonight? A rush? Whatever happened, my walk tonight took me 1 step closer 2 craving walking again.

1 step closer 2 zipping

2009-11-30T22:32:00.002-06:00

Everyone knows which jeans in their closet zip easily, and which ones need a bit of help from gravity... You know, lying down on the bed, so gravity can shift parts around, allowing the zipper to move towards the waist more easily. If you don't have any of those jeans, or have never had to lie on the bed to zip, stop reading here, and check us out tomorrow.

Please only keep reading if you can understand the plight... Jeans you're growing out of, that should be relegated to the Goodwill box, or the back of the closet for lighter days, that you just can't move on because you want to fit in them. You can't afford a whole new set of jeans every time you add 10 more pounds, or you're just wishing yourself into them on a regular basis.

This morning there were two pair of jeans in my closet.
Only two.
And I knew that both of them require that extra effort to zip. I had other choices, yet set myself up for the exercise of 'lying to zip'.
Then miracle of miracle! The lying part wasn't necessary.
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzip, up went the zipper! Yahoo! Can you see the smile? The amazement? The joy?

It's working. The steps are working. The steps that I fit in today at 2:50. I walked .8 miles (the goal was 1 mile, but I hadn't gone that way before and hadn't measured using mapmyrun.com yet). So next time I go that way, I'll know I must go past the track to the tree line to make the full mile while waiting for the 3:10 bell to ring.

Now, I'm not sure the scale is reflecting my efforts, but I'll take the jeans test any day! And just keep walking, just keep walking, just keep walking, taking 1 step closer 2 zipping without lying!

1 step closer 2 a lesson plan

2009-11-28T21:22:00.002-06:00

Great family gathering. Kids on a trampoline and the back of a horse. Apples to apples game inside with a couple of cousins, aunt and grandmother. My husband even got in a walk....

Tonight I took one too. Left the laundry, dirty dishes and even a Christmas banner that I want to make and strolled along our street up to the main thoroughfare and set a goal, reached it, then turned around with only two stops... to re-tie my shoes.

I put 1.1 miles on this body tonight, and in the darkness and all alone worked on a lesson plan for the adult church school class that I'm to teach tomorrow. It's a small, forgiving group, and I wasn't given a topic. Tonight the lesson organizer called with a reminder and I asked if I could teach a lesson titled, "A week in my life"

So tomorrow I'll share with the 50-70 year old singles group what really happens when the Director of Congregational Health Ministries goes to work. Or what can be said and done by a member of the Congregational Care Team. And even the great, cool things that are happening in our Youth group (I'm a volunteer coach), and the Children's Department (I'm a mom, you know.)

So it was me and the stars, the moon and the sidewalk tonight, 1 step closer 2 a lesson plan.

1 step closer 2 growing up

2009-11-26T21:19:00.004-06:00

Today I celebrated Thanksgiving with my husband, 3 kids and my husband's parents.

No turkey, no mashed potatoes, just a wonderful dinner with a small gathering. The kids ended the afternoon with playing their instruments for Grandpa and Grandma, and a quick game of 10 days in the USA.

The kids aren't little anymore. They were actually a big help. I assigned them each a dish for lunch that was their responsibility, and in the end, their pride. OS was assigned the onion potatoes. He loves them and has been making them for six months or more. He washed the spuds and started cubing them with no instruction from me. Then mixed the oil and soup mix, and left me to supervise the baking process.

DD was in charge of a dessert. I cant' go wrong if I assign her to make something with chocolate in it. It was a peanut butter and chocolate version of the dirt cake she loves so much. She read directions, measured and manned the food processor last night. Then today she decorated the top with chocolate syrup and Reeces' Pieces, and was the first to taste it at the table. Grandpa said, "I wonder if Elizabeth will send some of that home with me?" How's that for an endorsement?

YS was assigned the dutch apple salad. He'll try anything so I gave him a more adventurous assignment. Last night he measured, and stirred and boiled the simple dressing. It chilled all night, then today he had a lesson in using a chef's knife on apples, celery and grapes. He learned that beginners don't chop as chef's in the movie 'Raoutittoui' do. Topped with walnuts, his salad was a success. I even ate it for my main course for dinner tonight.

Not only did the kids help cook, they also were six (almost willing) hands in the kitchen for cleanup. Between the mil, kids, DH and myself, we had the kitchen tidy in 15 minutes flat!

Yahoo for team work! Yahoo for kids that can help! Yahoo for maturity! (Don't ask me about the arguments, unsolicited singing, swat with the frying pan and struggle to set up the Christmas tree tonight, I'm basking in the glimpse of the adults they will become....)

So now their tucked in. Lights from the neighbor's Christmas light display drew my attention outside, and I was reminded that I hadn't walked to day. I encouraged the walkers in my church walking group to take a walk to day and I hadn't yet.

"Hon, wanna go on a walk?" We put on the coats and enjoyed the stars and the lights and the chilly 39 degree weather as we put .6 miles under our belt on the creek loop, as I'm coming to call it. Now for a glass of milk, a movie and time to work on some Christmas gifts.

Thanks God, for all your gifts, especially my 3 angels upstairs in their beds, today they were 1 step closer 2 growing up.

1 step closer 2 avoiding diabetes

2009-11-23T15:47:00.002-06:00

To my knowledge diabetes in my family isn't too close to home. Possibly a great aunt or uncle, but no first or second degree relations, that I know of, struggle with the disease that eats a person from the inside out with uncontrolled blood sugars.

I've been helping facilitate a diabetes support group at our church, for my job for over three years now. When we go around the table at the beginning of each meeting, we introduce our self, name our diagnosis, the time we've had it and the medications being used to treat it. When it comes my turn, I introduce myself as the nurse, and say, "I don't have diabetes, but I do have a few of the risk factors and being part of this group could be of great help in the future."...

To look at me, one knows that being obese is the risk factor of which I speak. It's a risk factor for so many other disease too. I'm a nurse, I know the stats, I've cared for the clients, and now I'm getting off my duff to keep from being there if I can. Even if I do get a diagnosis related to my size, I've already had at least two, I'll keep moving to make the fight against them more effective.

So, today after picking up OS, I took a stroll around the neighborhood, around the creek, and even worked up a little sweat walking .6 miles on a golden day. Taking 1 step closer 2 avoiding diabetes.

1 step closer to playing catch up

2009-11-21T21:51:00.002-06:00

Tonight I'm nursing my OS through a book report. A book report much more intricate that I ever had to do. It involves an oatmeal can, decorated with the name, characters, and major theme ideas. Inside the box will be intricate definitions of ten words from the book he didn't understand, an assortment of five items that have a connection to the book, and a list of questions based on the books, as if he were to quiz his classmates. Finally he has to rate the book and give reasons for this.

This whole evening is more than just the physical act of listening to him think through the process. I'm having to use vast amounts of emotional self control to not throttle the child. He's know about this project for three weeks... At least 21 days, and when do I learn of it? Yesterday(Friday), and of course it's due on Monday!

Now me knowing about it wouldn't be an issue, if the child were an overachiever, saintly, angelic student such as myself. (HA!) He gets his procrastination from me, but you know, I was smart enough to take a study hall most every semester of high school, so I could avoid having homework, and at least get the work done in time to turn it in.

So here is the procrastinating mother of a procrastinator, blogging about a walk she took (you guessed it) yesterday. While waiting for said son after school, I took the .5 mile walk, up to the old railroad tracks and back.

He's in bed now, and we have a few things to flush out about the report, like the difference between an objective and an subjective question, and buying a roll of Life Savers (don't ask.) \

This mother is 1 step closer 2 playing catch up on her blog. Because, the old adage really is true, that which most bothers us about others, is often the trait we most despise about ourselves... Didn't Jesus say something about that? Oh yeah, I think I'll go look for a log in my eye before I turn in.

1 step closer 2 'yesssss'

2009-11-18T20:58:00.003-06:00

So I weigh myself only at the doctor's office. Doc admits that his scale is set 5 pounds heavier than a person really is, but I admit that my own bathroom scale doesn't register my weight at all at this point. Surely his is also consistent. (it's not like he buys a new one each year, probably the same on I first stepped on 8 years ago.)

I can't find where I might have actually recorded my weight but what it reI registered yesterday when I took my DD for a check up made me say.... "yesssss". Not that I think I have lost any weight lately, but I really felt like I was gaining a lot, and this was proof that I'm not. Again, let me say "yessss".

I stayed home and didn't do home bound visits today because I had a sore throat that I don't want to share it with any of my elderly friends. But I did eat 3 clementine oranges, take a 30 minute nap, and go for a .6 mile walk while waiting for OS to get out of school.

It was a perfect golden autumn afternoon. Barely a breeze, not a cloud in the sky, the sun low in the west, but not near setting. And while .6 miles is not ideal, it is further than I would have gone were it not for this blog, docs scale and a promise or two that I've made in the recent past to take better care of myself. So here's me thinking that it might actually be possible for the scale to read a few pound lighter next time I'm in Doc's office. Imagine me 1 step closer 2 closing my eyes, smiling, pumping my fist and saying 'yesssss'.

1 step closer 2 my past

2009-11-15T20:19:00.002-06:00

It was a great event, celebrating my parents 40th wedding anniversary. The kids were tucked in, the men to bed early so they could hunt this morning, and I tied on my shoes, took the flashlight offered by my mom and took a one mile walk in my hometown last night.

First past the courthouse, where I learned how to mount photographs for 4-H, then past the church where I took confirmation classes with three cousins and one 'non' Trost'. Along the highway to main street (it's not really main street by name, but by function). Past the fire station that we toured in elementary school that not that anymore.

Then past the bank where I first met Santa Claus (It's a realty office now), then seeing the storefront of the stained glass shop that my mom owned for a few years. Don't forget the former soda fountain where a man offered to mow my lawn when I was 12 - he thought I was my 5 year old sister's mom.... I didn't go back there for the rest of the summer.

The fabric store that had the corner of toys for us to use as Mom shopped patterns has been an antique store, mini golf and is now the Radio Shack. Past the movie theatre, where one night while standing in line as a little girl, I looked up to find that the man's hand I was holding was not my Dad's.... I wasn't paying attention and hadn't moved in line with my family.

Past the mortuary that has served my family twice in the past two years then up the hill and past the church where I went to Jet Cadets and played as a young girl while Mom was at Christian Woman's Club... Back to their home. I never called that house home, but I feel at home when I visit there... Taking a walk down memory lane was a nice way to end the day, and I was 1 step closer 2 my past.

1 step closer 2 a celebration

2009-11-12T22:17:00.002-06:00

On Saturday my parents will celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary!

My sisters and I are planning a reception for them - they even agreed to come, and of course if the three of us are working on this, our husbands are getting a few responsibilities, at least they must show up!

So tonight, DH, the dog and I put .6 miles under our belts after the kids were put to bed, and we discussed packing, timetables and recreation over the weekend. It all involves a few details about travel, suitcases size, drive time, dinner before and after, along with who might attend.

What a great way to iron out plans, it took us 1 step closer 2 a celebration ... it makes me smile.

1 step closer 2 a star wars character

2009-11-10T19:50:00.002-06:00

The older two kids were at music lessons. One playing violin and the other playing piano. The YS didn't have any homework to keep him busy during the lessons, so he and I took our tennis shoe clad feet and took a walk in the north Riverside area.

We moved .75 miles and even had a good romp through a huge pile of sycamore leaves, making them crunch and crunch...

After the turn around point YS took his umbrella, and started hiding behind trees while using the umbrella for a gun. He said, "Call me clone leader Jay." How could I not laugh at that?

So by taking a music lesson walk with my YS, I didn't know I would be 1 step closer 2 a star wars character.

1 step closer 2 prayer

2009-11-10T06:28:00.003-06:00

It was a shorter walk than I shoot for, none the less I got out of the car and walked the fence line at out local middle school yesterday (I'm a day late and mostly a dollar short).

As I stepped along the sidewalk, and ran my hand along the new fence and walked almost half a mile, it seemed as though the people that I care about and heart ache for lined up in my mind to be held up in prayer. They didn't stand in a straight line and patiently wait their turn (like a queue in England, or the uniform clad children at our local elementary school), no it seemed as thought there were a mob like scrum pushing into my mind.

"Remember me in your prayers... I'm in such pain"
"Don't forget your family that is grieving grandma"
"Over, here, we youth need some of God's attention while you're at it"
"Husband and kids... you can't leave us out"

So as I stepped, it was like inviting them one by one to stand with me before the throne. We invoked the Lord's Love, Jesus' Forgiveness and the Peace and Presence of the Holy Spirit, then the next one came through the door of my mind and we did it again.

This is just a little more visual prayer than I usually lift up, but it was such a reminder of all the blessings that God Almighty has bestowed... The blessings that are the 'human' factors of my life. The smiles, hugs, tears, fear, joy, grief, accountability, commitment, tip-toe, stomp your feet partners in the dance of life...

The prayer queue grows the more you practice it, the more people God brings into your life, the more you look around the world and see what's going on in the lives of those you love. That was me today on my walk, 1 step closer 2 praying.